10 Foolproof Steps to Accept the Things You Cannot Change

Updated On: December 19, 2022

Tired of being a control freak who gets too frustrated when things go unplanned? These 10 steps will help you accept the things you cannot change.


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Accept the things you cannot change

Are you a control freak? Do you prefer having maximum control over your actions and life?

Well, as you’re reading this post, the chances are pretty high!

The feeling of being the controller of your life is incredible, but it comes at a cost!

You lose your mind quickly whenever anything doesn’t happen according to your plan. The frustration and emotional turbulence you experience are beyond comparison.

But the truth about life is – it is full of things you cannot change.

Some people try to change everything and become stressed out and unhappy. Others learn to accept the things they can’t change and live their lives with a positive attitude. 

So, if you fall in the first category, I’ll help you eliminate your problem with “acceptance” forever. 

In this post, I’ll tell you how to accept the things you cannot change and share a short story on how acceptance can sometimes lead to better outcomes.

Without any further ado, let’s dive right in.    

10 Super Effective Steps To Accept The Things You Cannot Change (That Mostly Work)

There are things in life that you cannot change. However, you can learn to live with them and accept them for what they are. It is the only way to a happy and fulfilling life. 

So, here are ten practical steps you can follow that will help you accept the things you cannot change: 

1. Take Your Time.

Before landing on this post, you might have read some posts or watched videos that taught you – “How to instantly accept the things you cannot change.”

Is that “instantly” time frame really practical? 

Obviously not! If accepting something you can’t change was that easy, nobody would be looking for an answer, Right?

The truth is that accepting the things you cannot change is hard (unless you are a highly spiritual folk, in which case, you won’t be reading this post). It may even take you a bit longer to digest the reality.   

So, if you’re struggling to accept something right now, stop searching for quick fixes and take your time to go through the process. 

Taking enough time will help you heartily accept the irreversible change, and nothing will bother you in the future again and again.   

2. Try to Swim (As Hard as You Can).

Try to swim as hard as you can.

Well, this step highly contradicts every piece of advice out there, suggesting you accept the things you cannot change without even trying to change them.

You are a powerful member of the Uprisehigh community, Right?

I’m damn sure I never taught you to give up without tryingSo, there’s no way you can accept things without trying to change them!

Go ahead and give it one best and last shot to change what you feel can’t be changed.

But why?

It’s because your final attempt will help you get rid of any uncertainty about whether or not you can redirect things in your favor. Even the slightest possibility that things can change will be fully eliminated.

In the end, you’ll be satisfied, and your mind will be at peace that you tried your best. Hence, it will become easier for you to accept what you cannot change.

This step works like crazy, Dude!

3. Let Your Emotions Flow.

It can be sad and frustrating when something doesn’t go how you want it to. 

But don’t let those emotions get the best of you! Don’t try to suppress or bottle them up because that only makes them worse.

Instead, let them flow and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. It would make you feel lighter and much better. Further, you’ll be able to work through the disappointment and move on.

4. Hug the Person Closest to Your Heart.

To accept the things you cannot change, hug the person closest to your heart.

Sometimes, it’s excruciating to fight the battles alone. It becomes even harder when you’re fighting against something you can’t change (or defeat).

Whenever you feel alone and find it hard to accept the things you cannot change, don’t hesitate to reach out to your close ones and vent your feelings. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak!

Hug them tightly and release all your stress. 

Nobody can console and support you how your loved ones can. Having them by your side can make it really easy for you to accept the things you cannot change.   

5. Loosen Your Grip.

As you’ve finally accepted, you cannot change something; it’s time to loosen your grip.

So just calm down and let things flow with time. The harder you try to make changes, the more you’ll waste time and energy.

Once and for all, stop dwelling on what happened and choose to move on.

6. Let Go of Any Negativity.

Let go of any negativity to accept the things you cannot change.

It’s human nature that whenever something wrong happens to us – we start self-victimizing and asking questions like “why always me?” or “why does everything happen against my will?”

Being constantly drowned in negativity can make you feel extremely low and attracts unfavorable outcomes.

To accept the things you cannot change, you must release the negativity attached to that event. You have to stop self-victimizing and making bad predictions about your future.

Instead, try remaining positive. 

If it’s not possible, there’s one more even practical solution  Stop attaching any outcome to the event that happened. Don’t be negative or positive about your future – just be neutral. 

Just chill out and let life choose the way. Everything will automatically turn out to be right!

7. Have Faith in the Higher Power.

The enemy uses the heaviest artillery on the people who are carrying the greatest purpose. And so if a lot is coming against you, that means God has put a lot in you.

~Pastor Steven Furtick

You may be someone who doesn’t believe in God. If so, trust me, you’re missing something beyond powerful.

Well, I’m not just saying it. Actually, I’ve experienced it.

I was once a complete atheist. And the worse part – a control freak.

Every time something went against my will, here’s how I reacted:

I tried limitlessly to change that thing even when, at the bottom of my heart, I knew it was impossible. I felt like I was all alone, and if one thing went wrong, It felt like a total mess.

As a result: 

  • I ended up wasting a lot of time.
  • I could never do anything to change what could be changed.
  • Things constantly went downhill (even in the future) as I always wasted time doing nothing productive.

However, one day when I was reading about spirituality, I decided to have faith in lord Shiva. He became the face of my divine power.

Finally, that’s when things started to change.

The faith led to a drastic shift in my mentality. Whenever something unchangeable happened, I considered it lord Shiva’s plan, and you know what? In the end, everything always turned out to be really beautiful.

I don’t want you to go by my words. Instead, just for once, try developing unwavering faith in the higher power. Don’t have any doubts, and choose any God you want to be the face of your divine.

You’ll eventually feel it easier to accept the things you cannot change. You won’t feel alone and always feel optimistic that everything will turn out to be in your favor.

The higher power will always help you through tough times. It knows what’s best for you and will never let you down.  

8. Look Ahead and Focus on What You Can Actually Change.

Life is unpredictable. Sometimes things happen that you cannot control. 

But even in such situations, you must remember that you can always change your perspective and work on what’s truly in your control.

I’ll share a basic instance.

The weather may be hot or cold, sunny or rainy, but you can’t control the weather. Similarly, you can’t control the people or events that happen in your life.

While you may not like every weather or every person, there’s always something you can control. For example, you can choose how to enjoy every weather or change what you think and believe about the people that enter your life.

In short, when trying to accept the things you cannot change, don’t keep dwelling on what happened in the past. Instead, bring your consciousness back to the present (mindfulness activities might help) and focus on what you can do in the present.

9. Remember – You Always See the Lessons Later!

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.

~J. Lynn

It becomes nearly impossible to see the “good” when everything seems to go against your will.

Hopelessness surrounds you, and you feel like your future is all dark.

However, as time passes, you move on, and the event fades away. You actually realize the reason it all happened. You connect the dots backward, and everything makes sense.

Sometimes, you even feel stupid for how you reacted in the past.

That’s life, Dude! It’s a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs, but it doesn’t let you leave the track.

Finally, you’re always at the place you were supposed to be.

Whenever you find it hard to accept the things you cannot change, remember that you’ll surely see the lessons later. And when you finally see them, you’ll laugh at yourself.   

10. Don’t Forget to Look Back Every Once in a While.

Don't forget to look back every once in a while

After going through a challenging journey of accepting the things we cannot change, we often avoid looking back at that moment or try staying away from those memories.

However, if you want to be able to accept the things you cannot change easily, you have to do quite the opposite of what I wrote in the above lines.

Every once in a while, I want you to look at those unchangeable things you once wanted to change and remember how you reacted. 

You’ll be able to recall the lessons you learned. Further, it will help you stay calm whenever something happens against your will because deep down, you’ll know things are happening for a reason.    

Short Story: How Accepting the Things You Cannot Change Can Be Beneficial?

I recently heard a beautiful story shared by Gaur Gopal Das in one of his videos:-

It was a hot sunny day, and Gaur Gopal Das was making a glass of fresh lemonade water. He received a call from a friend, and while having the conversation, he accidentally added five lemons instead of one.

When Gaur took the first sip, the lemonade tasted extremely sour. So, he decided to fix the lemonade by removing the excess lemon.

Despite so many attempts, Gaur couldn’t reduce the sourness of the lemonade.

As Gaur accepted he couldn’t remove the excess lemon, he decided to fix the lemonade by adding water. 

Finally, after adding five glasses of water, Gaur got the perfect lemonade he was trying to make.

In the end, instead of having just one glass of fresh lemonade, he had five glasses of fresh lemonade.

Moral of the Story: Sometimes, accepting the things you cannot change and working on what you can actually change miraculously lead to the best and the most unexpected outcomes.

Wrapping Up

For the sake of your convenience, I will sum up all the steps that you must follow one by one so you can easily accept the things you cannot change:

Step 1: Don’t try escaping the process of acceptance. Take your time and be patient with yourself.

Step 2: Try to change the situation for one last time to convince yourself there’s no way out.

Step 3: Vent out your feelings and emotions. Getting overwhelmed with them will only make things worse.

Step 4: Reach out to the person you love the most. You want someone to support you and be with you.

Step 5: Once you’ve somewhat accepted the thing you cannot change, stop resisting the change.

Step 6: Let go of your negative expectations and judgment of the situation.

Step 7: Have faith in God and his plan for you.

Step 8: Take action and change what you can change.

Step 9: Remember that the current event has occurred for a reason, and you’ll realize the lesson it taught you later in life. 

Step 10: Don’t forget to reflect on how you reacted to what you couldn’t change and how everything turned in the right direction.

Acceptance is the key to overcoming any obstacle. So, when things don’t go your way, don’t fight them. Simply accept that they’re not going to change, and move on.

I hope you live a stress-free life, mate.

See you in the next post.

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