Your 11-Step Ultimate Guide to Dating with a Purpose

Updated On: December 24, 2022

Tired of dating and being into relationships but never finding “the one” you’re looking for? This killer guide on dating with a purpose will help you out!


Are you tired of swiping left and right on dating apps but never finding “the one” that you’re looking for?

Let me guess, here’s what happens with you😂:-

Dating with a Purpose Meme

Further, you might have dated tens or hundreds of people, been into a relationship with a few, but eventually broke up when you found out they weren’t the right match for you.

You aren’t alone.

In fact, there are a lot of couples out there who split after being in a relationship for so long when they realize they are actually incompatible or have totally different relationship plans.

So, Is there anything you can do to minimize (or prevent) all such problems and find the most compatible person for you in the first place?

Yes, You can! All you need to do is start “dating with a purpose.”

Have no idea what it is?
Don’t worry. Just read this post carefully in which I’ll share everything about dating with a purpose, including What is dating with a purpose? Why should you do it? And how to do it?

Let’s dive right into the post.

What Does Dating With a Purpose Mean?

Here’s a quick question for you:- “Did you have any desired characteristics or values of your date partner in mind when you went on a date last time?”

If your answer is no, you didn’t date with purpose.

Dating with a purpose is when you consciously try to find your ideal partner who has the same relationship plans as you, along with your desired values and qualities.

It is different from how most people date these days, that is, entering into a relationship with anyone who comes along their way and expresses interest in them.

Why Should You Date with a Purpose?

What is the Main Purpose of Dating

Undoubtedly, creating an action plan and implementing it while dating with purpose is a lengthy and cumbersome process, but it’s absolutely worth it!   

So, If you’ve been dating with no purpose until now, these five firm reasons will help you identify why you should consider dating with a purpose:-

1. Prevents Heartbreaks.

Imagine – You are dating a person who has always wanted to be in a casual relationship hoping that your relationship would last forever.

What would happen next?
The relationship would end one day or another, followed by a painful heartbreak.

Such situations never happen when you are dating with a purpose (until one of the partners is lying).
When you date with purpose, you look for a partner who wants to be in the same type of relationship as you. For example, if you are a person who prefers casual dating, you will get a partner who believes in casual dating too.

Finally, both of you are in the same shoes, and there are slight or no chances of heartbreak.

2. You Get Your Best Match.

When you date with a purpose, you enter into a relationship with the most compatible person for you. 
You get to date a person of your dreams, having your desired characteristics, nature, values, and behavior. Further, both of you understand each other well and have the same relationship plans.

3. Gives You an Insight into Your Future Relationship.

Dating with purpose helps you know what your future relationship will look like. 
It also helps you gain insights into your partner’s perception of the relationship. For example, How do they see both of you evolving as a couple? Do they want to marry you or not? Do they want to have children with you in the future?

It is better to clear such crucial questions at the beginning of dating to avoid serious relationship problems in the future.

4. Cultivates Relationship Security.

Arguments and conflicts are pretty normal in every relationship. However, the problem arises when the smallest conflicts make you insecure about your relationship.
Questions like:- “Will my partner break up with me? Do we need to end this relationship? or Are we incompatible?” start haunting you day and night.

When you date with a purpose, you already know that your partner wishes to be with you forever, and they will give their best to keep the relationship alive. Therefore, you feel that your relationship is secure, and no matter what, it won’t ever break.

5. Ensures Better Relationship. 

Dating with a purpose helps you maintain a stable and healthy relationship with your partner, which means lesser trust issues, more loyalty, and better understanding.

 11-Step Foolproof Plan for Dating with a Purpose

One of the biggest questions you might be having right now is, “How do I date with purpose?”

It is easy to feel lost and confused in the process of “dating with a purpose” if you don’t know the correct steps you need to follow. You might even give up in the middle of your dating journey, get back to the common dating method, and settle for average. 

I won’t let it happen!

Here are 11 steps you can follow that will help you tremendously in dating with a purpose:-

1. Let Go of Your Past Relationship Experiences.

Think about it:- “If you love a person X and have a connection with them, Is it really possible for you to fall in love with Y?”  

Of course not!

So, If you’ve been into a relationship before, the first step is to get over the emotional attachment you had with your recent partner to embrace a new one.
Further, you have to let go of the trauma and bad experiences of past relationships so that you don’t misjudge your upcoming relationship based on them. 

In short, prepare yourself for a completely new and fresh relationship journey.

2. Uplift Your Self-Esteem.

Importance of Self-Esteem in a Relationship

If you’ve previously experienced a toxic relationship (maybe a karmic relationship), the chances are that it could’ve negatively affected your self-esteem. You might have a feeling that you aren’t worthy of love, there’s no one built for you, etc.
In such a case, you have to take some time, restore self-esteem, understand your true worth, and find your partner according to it.

If you’ve never been into a relationship before, ensure that your self-esteem is in good shape (if not, uplift it) so that you don’t attract people only to make you feel good about who you are.

3. Get Ready to Let Your “Better Half” into Your Life.

After completing the above steps, it’s time to get prepared to welcome your ideal partner into your life and be ready for a relationship. 

Don’t let your childhood trauma or past relationship issues bother you. 
Be excited that you’re going to meet someone made just for you. 
Let go of all your pre-made biases and judgments regarding the values, attitudes, and mentality of people belonging to specific religions, caste, or communities.

Ask yourself, “Are you willing to adjust with your partner and make sacrifices for the wellness of your relationship?”

If your heart says “Yes,” jump to the next step. 

4. Know Yourself and Realize Who You’re Looking For.

Dating with a Purpose Ideal Partner

The fourth step is to dig deep inside yourself and practice self-exploration. The better you know yourself, the better you can realize who you’re looking for.  

Figure out your strengths and weaknesses. Identify the qualities of your partner that would help you work upon your weaknesses. For example, if you are too emotional, you can search for a partner who’s good at handling emotions.

Finally, list out the traits you wish your partner should have, such as nature, looks, attitude, perception, and values. Just make sure to be realistic with your demands!
Also, if you find it hard to keep those desired qualities in mind, you can choose to write them down somewhere.       

5. Manifest the Partner You Desire.

As you’re now aware of the type of partner you want in your life, it’s time to let the universe know about your needs and attract the right person in your life.

Take some time out of your daily routine and start manifesting your dream partner. If you’re searching for a partner that would shower you with lots of love, you need to feel the pamper and love right now. Further, express your belief that your desired partner is moving towards you.

6. Meet a Bunch of People.

Meet new people

Nobody will enter your life magically if you just keep sitting at your home (even if you practice daily manifestation). You have to get out from the comfort of your home and meet different types of people.

You can interact with new people on social media, schedule meetups with your friends to whom you lost touch, or try dating apps if they work for you.

One of the most vital steps while dating with a purpose is to observe people closely. 

Try to identify if anyone among the people you’ve met seems to be a good match for you (based on first impression, behavior, etc.)?
If Yes, Don’t just straight away ask for a date after a single meeting like a “Despo.” Instead, keep it steady and know more about them (over call or texts).        

7. Don’t Forget the Standards.

Now you’re interested in a person, and you’ve got your eyes on them.

After you’ve had enough conversation with them, it’s time to go for a date. While on the date, you have to identify if the person has your desired qualities and value or not?

You can be a bit flexible about your needs but don’t just completely forget your standards!

8. Communicate Clearly.

Communication plays an essential role when you are dating with a purpose.

Before entering into a relationship with the person you’re dating, you have to let them know about the kind of relationship (long-term, casual, etc.) you’re seeking. Give them clarity about your relationship expectations and how you want to evolve as a couple.

Further, ask your date whether they want to be in the same type of relationship or not? It is vital to be informed about their relationship expectations as well.

9. Know More About the Person’s Past Relationships.

It might be possible that your date might lie to you about their relationship plans so they could enter into a relationship with you. 

If you are suspicious or just want to be sure, you can ask more about their past relationships. Knowledge of their relationship history would give you a better idea of the kind of relationships your partner prefers and how he handles or behaves in relationships. 

10. Are they Ready to Move On too?

You’ve already left your past relationship attachments and trauma behind. 

You need to ensure that your date partner has also done the same if you truly want a successful relationship. It is practically impossible to be in a relationship with someone who’s already so much hurt and unwilling to move on.

It is a fact that you want to enter a relationship filled with positivity, and not the one in which you are always healing the scars of your partner caused by someone else’s knife.

11. Figure Out if they are the Right Match for You.

Until now, you would’ve learned almost everything about your date partner. 

Finally, You have to decide whether you want to enter into a relationship with them or not?

So, if your date partner has crossed all the items on your “desired qualities” checklist and you feel you can build a better future with them, you can choose to go ahead and speak up the “three magical words” to them.
If they didn’t, repeat the “dating with a purpose” process and don’t stop until you find “the one.”

While dating with purpose, you might get attached to your date partner, and it might feel a bit difficult to let them go even when they aren’t suitable for you.

However, you have to keep in mind that you are looking for the most compatible person. Be emotionally strong. The pain of today can give you an incredibly bright tomorrow.

End of the Line

I know that the method of “dating with a purpose” seems to be a complicated one, but trust me, once you get used to it, you’ll find it easy and much better than the standard dating method.

You might even have to go on a lot of dates, reject, or get rejected multiple times before you get to meet your dream partner.

In the end, all the effort will be worth it, and you’ll feel proud that you waited patiently for the best person to enter your life.

I hope you found this post helpful. 
If you did, share it with your friends and let them know about this superb dating method.

I’ll see you in the next one!



Varun Pahwa

Varun Pahwa

Hi! I am Varun. I created Uprisehigh for you to share your life story & get answers to all your life problems. As your best friend, I'm committed to inspire you, simplify your life, and help you grow. Let's stick together on this beautiful life journey, mate!


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