How does it feel when a wonderful person comes into your life – A person with whom you connect deeply?
Life feels so complete, Right? It’s like joy everywhere!
But what happens when the same person leaves you behind? No matter whether they give you an explanation or not.
IT SUCKS! You feel like a piece of your heart is detached forever. You get that person’s thoughts day in and day out.
So, How to overcome this feeling? How to get someone off your mind who’s not in your life anymore?
I have the answer!
In this post, I’ll tell you how long does it take to get someone out of your head. Further, I’ll share 17 practical tips on how to get someone out of your head quickly.
Let’s dive right into it.
How Long Does It Take To Get Someone Out of Your Head?
There’s no defined time frame in which you can get someone out of your head. It totally depends on how much you were connected to that person.
If you’ve known the person for only a few months, you may forget them within a week. But if you’ve known the person for years and were deeply connected to them, it might take months to forget them.
Honestly, there isn’t any easy way out, and you’ll have to bear the pain.
How To Get Someone Off Your Mind? (17 Practical Tips)
These 17 practical tips will help you cope with the separation and get someone out of your head relatively quickly:-
1. Realize That Memories Only Fade. They Don’t Erase.
Often when you want to get someone off your mind, you seek the answer to the question – “How can I completely erase that person’s memories from my life?”
But you know what? There’s no answer to that question!
You can’t completely erase someone from your memories. They stay with you, no matter how hard you try to push them away. Just those memories might fade over time, and the emotional pain might get reduced.
The more you think about getting rid of someone’s memories, the more you recall them and feel the pain.
So, to overcome this situation and get someone off your mind, you must learn to act maturely. You must consider the other person as an “independent human being.” You must realize that you don’t have any control over their actions.
Just think of them like they were a part of your life. And that part is over. Bring your consciousness to the present and start living in the moment.
2. Accept the Fact – People Come and Go.
Some people stay for a long time in your life while others leave in a hurry. But in the end, they all leave.
Sometimes they go away, and you’re left behind wondering why did they disappear when you had good relations with them. Thoughts about them disturb you repeatedly.
To get such people off your mind, you must accept the truth that people come and go. Life is full of temporary and changing people.
You can’t control how long someone will stay with you or predict when someone will leave. You can only cherish the memories with those you’ve lost and keep striving forward.
3. Stop Stalking.
I’ve observed something common among couples after break up – they start stalking each other online. In fact, I’ll share some facts. As per a survey by NortonLifeLock, 46% of Americans admit to secretly “stalking” their ex (or current partner) online.
Another common thing they do is constantly check photos with each other.
So, what happens as a result? They get obsessed with each other’s thoughts, and emotional pain worsens.
In such a situation, if you want to get someone out of your head, you must stop stalking them permanently.
There’s no need to constantly check on their life and feel sad because they’re happy without you. Just delete your photos with them if those photos always resurface your memories.
Enjoy your peace and let them live peacefully.
4. Stick to the Zero Contact Rule.
There might be a few instances when you may feel the urge to reach out to the person who has left your life. Similarly, the other person might even try reaching out to you for selfish reasons.
The funny part is that most people give in, start talking to the other person, and complain they can’t forget them.
If you genuinely want to get someone out of your head, you must stick to the no-contact rule. You must resist every urge to call the other person or pick up their calls. Even a small text like “Hey!” isn’t allowed.
Maintaining an on-and-off relationship with the other person will only force you into cycles of rejection. If they keep coming back to you and you let them enter your life, you’ve lost self-respect, mate.
5. Keep Yourself Engaged.
What happens when you keep sitting idle for a long duration?
Your monkey mind gets activated, and your thoughts travel in every possible direction, right?
In the same way, if you don’t have anything to do except get over someone, you’re more likely to get obsessed with thoughts related to that person.
If you want to get someone off your mind, you must distract yourself, and the best way to do it is to engage in other activities. You can switch to hobbies, spend time with your close ones, travel, or take on new challenges.
Even when you don’t feel like doing those things, just begin. Eventually, you’ll start enjoying them.
6. Face Rather Than Escape.
Do the thoughts related to the other person disturb you even when you’re busy working?
If so, let me guess. Whenever those thoughts disturb you, you try to push them away and tell yourself repeatedly that you must not think about the other person.
What happens as a result? Those thoughts disturb you even more, right?
If you want to get someone off your mind, forcing yourself not to think about the other person won’t work. Instead, taking a 2-3 minute break from your work and actually confronting those thoughts might help.
All you need to do is just allow your memories to come back to life. Think about all the good moments that you spent together. Feel happy that you had a beautiful past. Finally, bless yourself and the other person to have a long, happy life and return to work.
It may sound crazy, but it actually works!
7. Look Forward To Move Forward.
You can’t live in the darkness of your past and create a bright future.~Uprisehigh
If you keep recalling your memories with someone and feel bad about them, it’s impossible to move on. In fact, you might even miss the opportunity to meet some great people.
To get someone off your mind, you must look forward to meeting new and better people in the future. One person has left your life doesn’t mean everyone will!
Visualize what type of people you would love to meet in the future. Think about the mistakes you won’t repeat while building new relationships. You never know when your manifestation might come true.
8. Allow People To Replace the Vacant Spot.
People exceptionally close to your heart leave a deep scar when they exit your life. Sometimes, it is so excruciating that your personality completely changes.
Further, if you were an extroverted person, you might transform into an introverted person. You become reserved and stop interacting with people because you never want someone to leave you again.
The person who left you creates a vacant spot in your life, and it becomes even more challenging to forget them.
However, you must fill that void in your life if you want to get someone out of your head.
It doesn’t mean you just have to pick anyone and make them a part of your life. Instead, you have to search for someone compatible with you.
As I’ve told you before, one person left doesn’t imply everyone will. Your soul family is out there waiting to meet you.
9. Don’t Give Them Space in Your Discussions.
When someone close to your heart leaves your life, and your friends or family know about it, they randomly drag that person into various conversations.
What happens next?
You keep thinking about the other person even when the conversation’s over. You revisit your old memories frequently and remind yourself of them.
To get someone off your mind, you must keep the person out of your day-to-day conversations. When someone starts talking about them, quickly end the discussion by letting them know you aren’t comfortable.
10. Vent Your Feelings to Close Ones.
Question. How do you respond when you’re overwhelmed with feelings? Do you share them with someone or keep them inside you?
If it’s the latter, it may be why you’re unable to get someone off your mind.
I know that sharing your feelings is not always the right option. People may judge you that you’re always ranting. But that doesn’t mean you need to suffocate yourself with feelings.
There are moments in your life when you actually need support. When you can’t hold onto your feelings, sharing them is better. Obviously, you don’t have to whine in front of everyone, but you can reach out to the people who care about you.
Trust me. The companionship of your close ones can really help you get someone off your mind relatively faster.
11. Stop Cursing the Other Person.
If you and the other person separated because of toxicity, conflicts, and disinterest, you might quickly develop hate for them.
Because of that hatred, lots of people start cursing the other person.
But does that help?
Obviously not! It just reminds you of the other person repeatedly. Even though you are able to vent out your hateful feelings, it somehow triggers your memories and other emotions related to that person.
To get someone off your mind, you need to release your negative feelings about them and move towards peacefulness.
Cursing them won’t even help because they can’t hear what you’re saying behind their back, and you’ll just feel more frustrated. Even if the other person has hurt you, try to forgive them and move on.
12. Stop Living in False Hope.
It’s hard to let go of someone you love. There’s a false hope that the other person will return and everything will be just fine. But unfortunately, it never happens.
Well, it is a fact that you can’t control the other person or predict when they will come back into your life. So, if you’re living with fake expectations that the other person will return, you will only get hurt more.
You start healing when you give up on hoping the other person will return. You begin moving ahead and getting them off your mind.
13. Get Over the Blame Game.
Sometimes, when a person leaves you, you wonder what could have been if you were together and why it had to end. You blame yourself or the other person for the split.
I’ll tell you the truth. Blame isn’t going to get you anywhere. In fact, it could actually make things worse. It will remind you of the other person more frequently. And you may become impatient, agitated, or vengeful.
Instead of focusing on who was wrong, take a step back and look at what you could have done differently. Was one of you too stubborn? Did one of you not want to compromise?
Once you’ve learned the lessons, apply them in your future relationships. Start rebuilding your life. Focus on your happiness. Remember, you’re the only one who can control your feelings.
14. Stop Connecting Your Past To Your Present.
It is a fact that humans make decisions based on their past experiences.
So, does your experience with someone who left you prevent you from connecting with new people? Do you relate the people you meet with the person who left?
If so, you must stop it.
You must avoid making decisions about new people based on your previous relationship because everyone has different reactions, perceptions, and ideologies toward situations.
The person who left you isn’t the same as the new people you meet. However, if you’re constantly connecting both of them, you’ll just keep reminding yourself of the other person and won’t move on.
15. Perform Activities To Increase Mental Control.
To get someone out of your head, you must have better control over your thoughts, Right? Well, there’s nothing better than performing self-control activities for that purpose.
Here are the three activities to help you gain mental control:-
1. Meditation: Meditation will help you gain exceptional control over your thoughts. So, you won’t obsess with the thoughts of the person who left you. Further, it will be easier for you to remain calm.
2. Mindfulness: Mindfulness activities help you stay in the present. You won’t jump to the past repeatedly; hence you won’t remind yourself of the other person.
3. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts in a journal would help you vent all the feelings inside you, Thereby making it easier to get someone off your mind.
Add these three activities to your routine, and let me know in the comments if they help you.
16. Get Rid of Your Victim Mentality.
There are two types of people in the world:
- People who rant too much about their present circumstances.
- People who work hard to change their present circumstances.
Unfortunately, most people fall into the first category and enjoy their victimhood.
Answer honestly. Do you fall under the first category too? Do you often say to yourself, “Why me?”
If yes, you would have also said this to yourself – “Why does everyone leave me?”
You must overcome such a victim mentality if you want to get someone off your mind. Stop asking self-criticizing questions like “Am I really that bad?” or “Is everything my fault?” and move on.
Instead, start focusing on what’s there in your hand and what you can now do. Maybe, go out and meet new people, create better friendships, nurture current relations, etc.
17. Take Your Time.
When it comes to forgetting someone, it’s not as easy as it seems. You might try to do it in a day, but realistically, it takes a little bit more time (sometimes days or months). And that’s okay!
It’s natural to feel sad and lonely after someone leaves your life. You’re a human, and you’re allowed to feel the pain. You’re allowed to cry and express yourself.
No magical spell will remove the other person from your memories. They were a part of your life and always will be. There’s no need to rush the process. Treat yourself with love, care, and patience; this phase, too, shall pass.
A Gentle Reminder: I Am With You!
Just like you, I’ve also lost someone extremely close to my heart. Unfortunately, I can never meet them again in my entire life (even if I want to).
So yeah, I’ve been where you are, and I know how it feels to lose someone. I’ve felt all the pain you’re going through.
Trust me. Things will get better with time. You may not forget the other person entirely, but the scars will heal, and the pain will reduce.
Till then, you need to stay strong and let the storm pass.
I was all alone, but you aren’t.
I am there for you.
I am there with you.
And I believe in you.
You got this, mate!
End of the Line
People come into your life for a reason. Maybe, the other person has left your life because their purpose of coming into your life has been fulfilled. You’ve learned what you had to learn.
It may be excruciating right now. But when you will look back after some time, you will realize why they came into your life, why they had to leave, and what they taught you.
Everything will start making sense.
May God give you all the strength to overcome this situation. Have faith in yourself just like I have faith in you.
Keep smiling, mate. You’re strong AF!