How does it feel when you are always available for someone, but they’re never there for you?
Sometimes you stop interacting with them by yourself. However, when you see that too many people make time for who they want but not for you, you start searching for your faults.
But, are you really so imperfect and undesirable?
You’re just focusing too much on the wrong people.
In this post, I’ll tell you the reality of why people don’t spend time with you and five ways to deal with them without losing self-respect.
Let’s dive into it.
6 Harsh Reasons Why People Make Time for Who They Want But Not for You
These could be the six reasons why a person whose company you crave makes time for others but not for you:-
1. They Don’t Actually Like You.
One of the biggest reasons people make time for who they want but not for you is that they don’t like you.
Obviously, they won’t say it in your face, but their gestures would tell you they don’t want to interact with you.
Now you might ask, “Is there a problem with me?”
It’s just that they feel that you’re incompatible with them. Maybe, the other person doesn’t like your attitude, nature, or personality. They could even be specific about the people who surround them.
I will tell you a little secret.
One more reason a person doesn’t like you could be because they’re simply jealous of you. You may be better than them, and they just can’t bear the fact.
2. They Seek Better Company.
We all know that one person who keeps ranting about his life problems. Whenever you talk to them or meet them, he (she) fills you up with negativity.
Do you feel you’re the “always miserable person” for others?
If yes, it could be why people make time for who they want but not you.
Now, it doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. You vent your feelings with the person you spend time with, which makes you feel relaxed, and it’s okay. But, sometimes it gets too much that the other person can’t withstand negativity anymore.
3. They Can’t Connect Deeply With You Anymore.
Any relationship between two people, be it friendship or love, doesn’t always remain the same.
Sometimes, you get to know each other properly after a long time. In the beginning, there’s a stunning spark between you, but then you realize that your vibes, beliefs, and perspectives are totally different. Further, it leads to frequent conflicts and arguments.
During such situations, both of you have two options:-
- Accept each other’s perspectives and adjust.
- Give up on each other.
Maybe, the other person chose the second option. They realized that both of you can’t just stick together anymore. They felt they couldn’t connect with you on a mental and spiritual level anymore. Hence, they stopped making time for you.
4. You Don’t Provide Them Enough Value.
Out of 10 recent outgoing calls, how many calls did you make without any motive just to ask how’s the other person doing?
Your answer would probably be in a range of 0 to 2.
By asking this question, I just wanted to show you the reality of humans. Most of us don’t even call each other without a specific motive.
So, can you expect someone to spend time with you if they don’t find you worthy of their time?
In short, the other person may not be making time for you because you don’t give them enough value. You don’t fulfill their needs, so they mostly turn you down and prefer to spend time with someone whose company is more beneficial.
I know it’s too rude, but it is what it is.
5. They Have Different Priorities.
When you initially met the other person, they could’ve spent more time with you because they had a lot of time and space in their life.
However, it might be possible that times have changed now. They are working hard these days, fulfilling their responsibilities, or busy doing something else.
6. You Suck Their Time and Energy.
Time is the most powerful and invaluable resource given to the human species for free.
Maybe, the other person values their time significantly and doesn’t let much of it go wasted. Further, they make optimum use of energy to make the most out of their time.
They may not make time for you if they feel you drain a lot of their time and energy. Instead, they would prefer to use that time and energy in a much better direction with better people.
What To Do When Someone Doesn’t Make Time for You?
1. Make Sure That You’re Not in an Illusion.
Firstly, you need to ensure whether the person isn’t making time only for you or is it that they don’t spend much time with everyone else too?
If they don’t spend too much time around people, stop obsessing over the thought that “they don’t make time for you” because it’s their nature. Maybe they prefer solitude over being constantly surrounded, work over leisure, or family over anyone else.
2. Realize Your Self-Worth.
If the other person doesn’t make time only for you, but you’re forcing conversations with them, it’s time to realize your self-worth. Instead of victimizing yourself and feeling pity, ask yourself these questions:-
- Why are you chasing the other person?
- Won’t you find someone better than them? Someone who respects you?
- Do you actually deserve this behavior?
- Is this the kind of respect you deserve?
The answers to these questions will help you realize that “you’re far better and more important than you thought.”
3. Stop Giving a Shit.
It is a fact that you can’t carry all the burden of the relationship on your own. The other person has to make equal efforts.
But, if you find that the other person doesn’t even make time for you, stop making time for them too. Don’t let them exploit you. If they don’t pick up your calls, stop picking up their calls either.
In short, stop giving fuck!
4. Prioritize Those Who Value You.
You may not realize it, but the time you waste chasing someone who doesn’t make time for you could be better utilized on people that actually make time for you.
Yes, I am talking about spending time with people who treat you like a priority, care about you and value you.
It would make both of you feel better and nurture a healthy relationship.
Always remember, it’s wiser to water a growing plant rather than a dead one.
5. Mind Your Own Business.
Instead of wasting your time and energy obsessing over the thoughts about the other person, redirect them to the areas of life that could help you grow.
Keep yourself busy and make this life; a memorable one.
End of the Line
It’s human nature that we’re attracted to the people and things that are difficult to get. Thus, you may be chasing people that don’t make time for you.
In reality, those people aren’t better than you. If they’re trying to run away from you, it’s better to let them go. Holding onto them won’t do any good.
Treat them like they treat you.
You are perfect and precious, mate! You deserve better than this.