10 Alarming Signs He Thinks You’re Not Good Enough!

Updated On: August 27, 2023

Does your guy actually value you? Discover these 10 alarming signs he thinks you’re not good enough. Time to know his true thoughts!


Signs He Thinks You're Not Good Enough

“It seems like he has lost all interest in me these days. It’s like he doesn’t think I’m good enough for him”, my friend Aisha bawled as she spoke to me. 

“Every time I bring up something bothering me, he just belittles my feelings and says I’m crazy.”

Aisha and Nitin were together for six months. Although Nitin was everything Aisha ever wanted in her man, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she wasn’t good enough for him

Nitin often made subtle remarks about Aisha’s likes, passions, and accomplishments that made her question her self-worth. He never prioritized her needs, frequently compared her with others, and pressured her to change her looks to match his preferences.

So, here’s a question for you. Is your relationship with your partner chipping away at your self-esteem? Do you constantly feel judged and exhausted by your partner? 

If yes, the reason could be that your boyfriend doesn’t feel you’re good enough for him. 

But wait! Before concluding anything, observe these 10 signs he thinks you’re not good enough to avoid making false assumptions or taking the wrong action.

Love or Doubt: 10 Revealing Signs He Thinks You’re Not Good Enough

If you notice the following ten troubled behaviors by your partner, it’s worth considering your self-worth and evaluating whether the relationship is healthy and supportive.

1. He Never Shows His Emotional Side.

Does your boyfriend share his true feelings with you? Does he ever allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable with you? If not, he may not want to connect with you on a deeper level. 

Emotional intimacy is the glue that keeps two people together in a relationship. If you find this glue to be missing, it could mean there’s trouble in your paradise. 

You might observe that your boyfriend shows no interest in your daily activities and what you’re up to.

The truth is that it requires a certain level of trust and comfort to share one’s emotions. 

If a guy is interested, he’ll be willing to invest in your relationship and try to create a strong bond by sharing his feelings. However, If he’s keeping an emotional distance, it could be a sign that he’s not prioritizing building a deep connection with you.

Your guy not opening up emotionally to you could mean he doesn’t think you’re good enough to trust you to let his guard down.

2. He’s All About The Sexy Talk.

He's All About The Sexy Talk.

Spicy conversations can really amp up your relationship, but it shouldn’t just be all about the sexy talk

Ask yourself: “What else do I know about him?” 

Returning to Aisha and Nitin’s relationship, it was only about having a good time “physically.” 

Nitin showed no interest in the conversation whenever Aisha tried to ask him about his friends and family. Instead, he preferred talking about his sexual fantasies. 

If you observe something similar in your relationship, it is clearly not a good sign if you seek a serious relationship with him.

If you notice your guy running away at the slightest mention of anything apart from intercourse, that’s a sign he thinks you’re not good enough to have a serious conversation with. 

Does he ever talk about his friends? Do you know about his favorite cuisine? What are his hobbies? If you can’t answer these questions, your relationship might only be superficial and casual.

3. You’re Always Giving More Than You’re Receiving.

Reciprocity is the heart of every happy relationship. An equal give and take of efforts, love, and care strengthens your relationship

But, if your partner always takes from you and never gives it back, it may indicate a one-sided relationship. 

Now, quickly answer these questions:

  • Does your boyfriend ever initiate conversations that need your opinion?
  • Is he there for you when you’re seeking emotional support from him? 
  • Does he ever express gratitude or make gestures that make you feel loved and cared for?

If you answered “no” to all these questions, it indicates an unhealthy dynamic. Your guy may think you’re not worth his time if he never bothers to check on you.

Pay attention to your guy’s responses. Is he receptive to your feelings and willing to change his behavior? Does he apologize and express genuine concern for your needs? 

If he just tries to sweep issues under the carpet and doesn’t come up with any solution, it’s obvious he thinks you’re not good enough for him. 

4. He Always Compares You With Other Girls.

He Always Compares You With Other Girls

You may need to observe closely for this sign because it may not always mean he’s not interested in you. 

It’s no big deal if your partner casually mentions how ambitious his female colleague is or how much he admires women who dress a certain way. 

However, it’s NOT okay if he consistently compares you to other girls in a negative light. It could mean he’s not very satisfied with who you are. 

I’ll explain this better with an example of my cousin Pooja and her relationship with her boyfriend, Ankit. 

Ankit had a pretty cordial friendship with his ex-girlfriend Anu. Pooja never saw this as a threat. 

But as time passed, Ankit consistently talked about how well-accomplished and ambitious Anu was. He started looking down upon Pooja; her goals and dreams were shattered along with her self-confidence

So, if your partner makes you feel less important by constantly comparing you with others, it’s a clear sign that he thinks you’re not good enough for him.

5. His Friends Have No Idea You Exist.

Here’s the thing: If your partner hesitates to make your relationship public, it could suggest he’s not very much into it. Maybe he’s keeping his options open and casually seeks your company. 

I know it’s a big bummer to be in a secret relationship because I’ve been in one.

I dated a guy, let’s call him Yash (I don’t wish to disclose his identity). 

After a few months into our relationship, I asked him if any of his friends knew about me. He brushed it off, saying he’ll tell them when the time is right. That irked me a little. 

One day, Yash eventually told me he was unsure about me and was open to dating other girls. That’s when I quit!

Look. Some people are naturally more private about their relationships and prefer to keep them away from public attention, including friends. It might not necessarily reflect how he feels about you.


There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy. While a private relationship is acceptable, there could be another possibility that your boyfriend is hiding you from his friends because he thinks you’re not good enough for him.

6. He Rarely Compliments Your Achievements.

He Rarely Compliments Your Achievements

If your boyfriend downplays your accomplishments or doesn’t show genuine enthusiasm when you achieve something significant, it could be a sign he thinks you’re not good enough. 

Returning to the same guy, Yash, he rarely complimented me on my achievements.

I’ll share an incident with you.

I was about to graduate from my class, and I decided to put my resume together. Yash and I just casually started discussing the awards and accolades I won in college. 

I noticed that Yash tried to downplay all my achievements. He told me that I needed to achieve something more significant and that those awards weren’t noteworthy. 

His words left me crushed and heartbroken!

A guy who loves you won’t miss any opportunity to tell you how much he adores or admires what you do. You won’t have to try hard to get a pat on the back from him.

Your guy might have initially pretended to be a cute dream person who showered you with compliments. However, if he has eventually stopped doing so, it could mean he doesn’t think you’re good enough for him anymore. 

7. He Never Apologizes for His Mistakes.

Does your partner attempt to make things right after a fight? Does he try to fix things rather than mess them up? If not, maybe you don’t mean much to him.

Fights are inevitable in a relationship. You’re bound to hurt each other at some point. But what matters is how willing you are to bounce back from it. 

If you don’t see your partner apologizing for hurting you, he may not care about you.

A guy who thinks you’re not good enough for him will dismiss you for overreacting. He might say stuff like, “You get upset over nothing!” Or “Why do you always have to overdramatize everything? It’s no big deal!” 

In short, he’ll do everything except apologize. 

So, if your boyfriend continues his problematic behavior, it could suggest he’s not interested in improving your relationship.

Remember, a person who genuinely loves you cares about how he makes you feel!

8. He Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings.

He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings

Are you with a guy who constantly calls you names or points out your insecurities? Is too much makeup a problem for him? Does he want you to fit into a specific size category?

If yes, it’s one of the major signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him. 

A healthy relationship is never about subtle judgments and snarky comments. If your guy is making you feel bad for how you look, dress, or speak, he certainly doesn’t think highly of who you are.

A guy in love will know how his words or actions will affect you. He will acknowledge your feelings and always make you feel secure in your own skin.

However, if you’re currently with someone who never considers your feelings, I’m sorry to say – He just doesn’t care about you! Constant criticism means he doesn’t think you’re suitable for him.

9. You Feel Stuck in Your Relationship.

Where do you see your relationship going? Do you ever hear your partner making plans about your future together? Does he ever initiate conversations about seeing the two of you getting married? 

If not, he may not be looking for anything long-term with you.

Okay, but let me clarify this. You can’t expect your partner to discuss marriage just 2 months into dating. 

However, you must identify whether you and your boyfriend are moving forward in your relationship. 

Does your guy make plans to spend some quality time with you? Is he down to try out fun and exciting activities with you? Is he really interested in getting to know you more?

If the answer is clear “no,” maybe he thinks you’re not worth his time. 

My ex-boyfriend Yash always made excuses for not hanging out with me. Whenever I tried to bring up date nights and alone time, he’d say he was “too busy” for these things. 

People make time for people that matter to themIf you feel like your relationship is not moving forward, it probably isn’t.

10. His Company Drains You (Both Emotionally and Mentally).

If you feel like whatever you do is never enough for your guy, you’re probably with the wrong guy.

Do you notice him always finding faults in your behavior while not being accountable for his own? Do you always have to go out of your way to make him happy? All these are signs that you don’t matter to him.

You’re always there to support him when he feels low. You’re the only one texting and calling because he’s too busy to do that. You’re always sacrificing your personal life to meet his wants and needs. And yet, you don’t see him happy when he’s around you!

In reality, if it was true love, you wouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around him all the time.  

This gesture simply indicates you’re not the one he wants to spend his life with. 

I know it’s hard to accept this fact, but you must realize that no guy will ever underappreciate you if he’s serious about you.

Big Question: What to Do if Your Guy Thinks You’re Not Good Enough?

The smartest thing to do when your boyfriend shows these signs is to have a deep conversation with him. 

Express your concerns about your relationship. Then only you will understand why your boyfriend behaves the way he does. Maybe there’s a reason for it. 

Every relationship is unique. You may not want to jump to conclusions before listening to your boyfriend’s side. 

However, if he resists having a conversation or dismisses you, you might need to reevaluate if he is the right guy for you.

Wrapping Up

So, that’s it for the 10 signs he thinks you’re not good enough for him. 

Remember, these signs do not indicate in any way that you’re not worthy of love and affection. It’s just always a good idea to be on the lookout for people who don’t appreciate or value you for who you are.

If you notice these signs in your guy, an honest and open conversation with him is vital. But, if he continues to show these signs, my dear, It’s time to take your dignity and go where you’re celebrated. 

A healthy relationship requires mutual love, effort, and respect. 

Just live your life authentically, and you’ll begin to attract people who are better suited for you!



Saily Sud

Saily Sud

Hi, I’m Saily, a freelance health and lifestyle content writer. Being a true blue introvert, writing has always helped me gain momentum to face the real world. With a hot cup of joe next to me, I can create content that influences people to take action!


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