He Likes Me But Doesn’t Want a Relationship! (11 Reasons + Fixes)

Updated On: August 17, 2023

You have mutual interest but does the guy seem hesitant to move things forward? These are 11 reasons he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.


11 Reasons He Likes You But Doesn't Want a Relationship

You really hit it off with a guy. You have fun together, conversations flow easily, and it seems like you just click. But, there’s one big problem – he’s unwilling to move things forward into anything serious.

Does this scenario resonate with you?

If you’ve landed on the post, your answer would probably be a “YES!

Let me guess. The next thought popping into your head must be, “Varun, if he enjoys spending time with me, WHY THE HELL does he balk when it comes to commitment?”

I got all your answers, my dear. In this post, I’ll share 11 reasons why a guy likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. Further, I’ll offer you some friendly advice on how to tackle each case.

Without any further ado, let’s dive right in. 

11 Reasons He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship (+What Can You Do?)

I know, girl. It can be frustrating and confusing when you’re looking for something more than a “casual relationship,” but the guy you like is a commitment-phobe.

However, the truth is: the reasons behind this reluctance have nothing to do about you, so you don’t have to take it personally.

These are the 13 common explanations for why a guy might like you yet still not pursue a relationship.

1. He’s Swamped With Work and Other Commitments.

A hardworking person swamped with work and other commitments.

I highly relate to this point, so here’s a quick story for you.

In 2019, I met “Sampada,” and we bonded really well. Eventually, we started liking each other, and it was time to commit. 

Sampada gave me every possible sign that she loved me, but I kept ignoring those signs. Even though I loved her too, I was unsure if I could handle being in a relationship while juggling work, studies, and other commitments.

Finally, after three months of extreme overthinking, I made up my mind, took a leap, and we entered a relationship. (Just to add, it was the best decision of my life 😊)

Coming back to the exact point. So, a guy might like you but not want a relationship because between the long hours, work events, travel, and other demands, he’s got no time or energy left to be a good boyfriend.

His work and other commitments have to be his #1 priority right now. Hence, even if you vibe so well together, he knows he can’t give you the care and attention you deserve.

What Shall I Do, Varun?

The answer is simple, chill and give him some time. 

Don’t take it personally – his insane workload is just temporarily blocking his ability to commit. Make it clear you’re down to take it slow and let him set the pace.

For now, focus on your own goals and keep busy. Save your energy for when he’s in a better headspace to build something together. Giving him space could make you more appealing down the road.

Let the guy come to you when he’s ready – forcing it will likely backfire. Stay positive, and don’t obsess over his timeline. Patience pays off!

2. He Sees You As Nothing More Than a Friend.

Girl, this one’s a bummer, but it happens. 

One of the biggest possible reasons he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship is that he only sees you as an incredible friend.

For the guy, maybe the two of you only vibe platonically, and he doesn’t get any romantic feelings for you.

Now you might ask, “Varun, how can I identify if I’ve been friend-zoned?”

Just look for these signs:

  • He’s uncomfortable with PDA and one-on-one dates.
  • He shoots down your flirty attempts.
  • He frequently comments on how much he values your friendship.
  • He openly talks about his dates with other women.

What Shall I Do?

Sorry, my dear, you can’t do much in this situation. The truth is, you can’t force someone to love you.

I know it hurts when your crush only sees you as a buddy. But don’t waste time pining for a lost cause or beat yourself up, you feel me?

Keep living your best life – flirt with other options, spend time with your friends and find happiness on your own terms. Build up that self-confidence outside of him.

You are magnificent and deserve someone who recognizes that, period.

Chin up! Value yourself, do your thing unapologetically, and let new opportunities come to you. Better matches are waiting once you shift your mindset. 

You got this!

3. He Just Doesn’t Want a Relationship.

A girl who loves a guy but the guy doesn't want a relationship.

Let me share an interesting fact with you. Research shows that a whopping 50% of singles are not looking for a relationship or date.

So, here’s the thing, girl: some guys are “committed bachelors” by choice. They have zero interest in relationships, regardless of who the woman is.

Even if he loves chilling with you but resists labels, commitments, or “locking it down,” he likely doesn’t want the constraints of a girlfriend. Maybe he prioritizes independence, prefers variety, or feels he can’t provide the care a real relationship demands.

So, the next question in your head must be, “Varun, how can I identify if he wants to remain unattached?”

Well, these are the signals:

  • The guy avoids meeting your family.
  • He doesn’t share his personal life with you.
  • He’s vague about the future.
  • He requires a lot of “me time.”
  • He rarely introduces you to his inner circle.

What Shall I Do?

In reality, it’s not that he doesn’t want a relationship with you only. Instead, he would avoid commitment to everyone.

He likely enjoys the fun of friendship but cringes at the thought of the responsibility and intimacy real relationships require. 

So, there’s nothing that you have to do in such a scenario, girl. It’s time to walk away from this guy. 

Don’t let him waste your time or take you for granted. Some men aren’t relationship material – and that’s on them, not you.

Focus your energy on self-care and nurturing your own interests and passions instead. Staying positive will attract the right partnership when the timing’s right.

You deserve reciprocal love, dear!

4. He’s All About Keeping It Chill and Casual.

You know it well – some guys don’t just want a serious relationship. They prefer to keep things light and low-key.

If a guy likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, it may be because he prefers such casual relationships.

He might be down for a fun fling or being FWB (friends with benefits) without the pressures of being exclusive.

Rather than viewing the relationship as a meaningful partnership, the guy may feel that it will limit his independence and freedom. So, he prefers to keep things undefined, putting you into an ambiguous gray area between dating and friendship.

His flakiness and desire to “take things slow” conveys his interest in a casual relationship.

What Shall I Do, Varun?

At the end of the day, it’s all about your preferences, girl.

If you’re also content with a casual relationship, you can stay in touch with the guy and continue seeing him for fun.

However, if you’re ultimately looking for something more committed and serious, you must move on. You deserve to find fulfilling relationships aligned with your goals.

Since you can’t change his mentality, save your time and energy, and don’t settle out of hope that he’ll change.

Prioritize your needs, dear – several men out there have the same relationship goals as you. 

5. He’s Still Getting Over a Past Relationship.

A guy with a broken heart still getting over a past relationship.

I’ll share an incident with you.

So, in 2022, one of my friends, “Parth,” went through a breakup. Even though the term of the relationship was short (roughly four months), he became highly attached to the girl.

Time passed, and Parth felt he had completely moved on. So, he started searching for more options. He became friends with a few girls and dated some of them but was somehow hesitant to begin a relationship.

After having a heartfelt conversation, we realized Parth was still not over his ex! Dating other girls made him remember his ex, past relationship experiences (both bitter and sweet), and breakup. Hence, he was too afraid to get into the same loop again.

So, here’s a question for you. Do you feel the guy who likes you is stuck in a past relationship? Does he talk a lot about his ex and tragic breakup story?

If you affirm, he could still be healing over his ex and past relationship, which might be one of the reasons he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.    

What Shall I Do?

The best advice I can offer you in this scenario is, Be patient and stick by his side as he heals.

Offer a listening ear when he needs to vent about his ex. Avoid pressuring him to move faster than he’s ready for. Building trust and being a reliable companion can help restore his faith in love over time.

Validate his feelings, but also gently encourage him to seek closure.

Getting involved with his healing process fosters an open, caring bond, even if just as friends at first.

With acceptance and space, he’ll gradually move forward. 

Your support now lays the foundation for a potential future relationship together, dear.

6. He’s Just Another Attention Lover.

Some men enjoy the excitement of pursuing and seducing a woman. However, they lose interest once the chase is over.

One of the possible reasons he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship is that the guy loves getting the ego boost and validation that comes from having your interest and attention.

His enthusiasm is fleeting – it’s more about the thrill of the game and conquest rather than genuinely connecting.

Once he feels you’re attracted to him and he’s getting enough attention, he moves on to generate the same feeling in some other women.

He may come on strong initially, texting frequently and going out of his way to impress you. But soon after hooking up or seeming to “win you over,” his responsiveness and investment fade.

NOTE: This scenario is prevalent in younger guys.  

What Shall I Do, Varun?

Girl, STOP wasting time on a guy who’s just there to feed his ego! You don’t deserve to get used.

Forget about chasing the guy who goes cold after getting your attention- he’s just trifling!

Keep your standards high and pay attention to the actions, not empty words.

Stay confident in yourself and let the right man come into your life. Until then, let opportunists weed themselves out!

7. He’s Already Dating Someone Else.

Some couples prefer to keep their relationship private, which may be the case with your guy too.

Even though he likes you, he may be holding back from starting a relationship with you because he’s already in a serious relationship with someone else. He might feel he has a deep connection with you, so he prefers to keep in touch.

Now, your next question would be, “Varun, how can I know if he’s already dating someone else if he’s so secretive about it?”

Well, these are the signs:

Signs a guy is dating someone else.
  • He quickly changes the subject when discussing relationships or his personal life.
  • He’s unusually secretive about his phone, keeps it out of sight, or quickly puts it away when you’re around.
  • He’s always unavailable during evenings, weekends, or holidays without explanation.
  • He often brings up a particular “friend” in conversations but avoids giving too many details or introducing you to this friend. Maybe, this friend is actually his partner.
  • There’s a noticeable emotional distance between you, possibly because his attention is elsewhere.

What Shall I Do?

I’ll be pretty straightforward. In this scenario, you’ve got two options, girl:

The first option is: to stick with the guy if you’re okay with the friendship and want to nurture your connection without being in a relationship.

The second option is: Back off if you’re developing deep feelings for him and feel it’s impossible to stay friends. 

The choice is entirely yours, dear. Pick wisely.

8. He Feels You’re Too Intimidating.

A guy who's intimidated by a girl.

Quick question. Do you feel that the guy is intimidated by you? Maybe, he keeps checking his attire around you, or you notice an awkward silence when you share your achievements.

If so, his insecurity might be the reason he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

Even when the guy is into you, accomplishments like your fancy job title, multiple degrees, or just being flat-out gorgeous can make him feel like he’s out of your league.

He might be worried that he doesn’t fit in with your friends or can’t provide at your level. If he was raised more blue-collar, while you’re Ivy League, that class difference might affect his ego too.

I know it’s not fair. But in reality, the guy’s own baggage about not being “good enough” screws with his ability to man up.

What Shall I Do, Varun?

Never dim your light, girl. Keep shining bright. 

However, one thing you can do is to make the guy feel you’re on his side.  

Compliment his strengths and achievements to combat his doubts. Avoid flaunting material things that may bruise his ego. Be a cheerleader and encourage him professionally.

Making him feel capable and supported will massively build his confidence.

Just remember one thing. Don’t shrink small or downplay your own goals to cushion the guy’s insecurity – that will backfire long-term.

Keep shining as you lift others. Staying patient while the guy works through his limitations shows maturity and care.

Your strength is meant to empower, dear. 💗 

9. He’s Dealing With Some Personal Stuff.

“Varun, I feel like he’s always stuck in personal problems and can’t get rid of them. Can it be a reason he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship?”

You got it right, girl! Sometimes life hits hard, and the guy’s struggles might be holding him back from fully engaging in a relationship.

Maybe he’s dealing with grief, past trauma, career woes, family drama, health issues, or other challenges right now that are occupying a lot of mental and emotional space.

While he may care about you, he might not have the bandwidth to properly nurture a more profound connection until he works through his own hurdles.  

What Shall I Do?

Trust me, dear. One helping hand can make a huge difference.

Lead with empathy – ask the guy how you can support him through this time. Assure him that you’re there by his side, no matter what. Uplift him by focusing conversations on the positive progress he’s making.

His healing journey is something that he must guide and control.

Stay hopeful yet realistic. Get clarity on what the guy can commit to.

If he still can’t show up after some time, wish him well and move forward.

Quick Note: Ensure to set boundaries so you don’t get excessively drained.

10. Cultural/Family Expectations Are Prohibitive.

Let me share a fascinating insight. One study found that cultural differences were a significant cause for parents not approving intercultural relationships.

So, here’s the harsh truth: Sometimes, family or cultural pressures might prohibit a guy from committing, even if he genuinely cares for you.

If you come from different ethnic backgrounds, religious beliefs, or family values, his loved ones may disapprove of his dating choices. He may face intense parental pressure to only marry within his culture or faith.

While the guy likes you, defying these ingrained family obligations can feel overwhelming or create deep guilt. Hence, he doesn’t want a relationship.

There’s nothing that you’ve done wrong, dear. Societal/generational expectations planted in the guy’s head are hard to overcome, no matter the strength of your bond. Love resisting tradition is an uphill battle.

What Shall I Do, Varun?

First of all, you need to understand that his family’s expectations are giving him cold feet about committing further. Hence, No one’s at fault!

Right now, building a solid friendship can help ease concerns about differences in background down the line. Focus on finding common ground in values and bonding over shared interests.

With time, patience, and open communication, he may gain the courage to stand up for what he wants and begin a relationship with you.

However, even if that doesn’t happen, value the connection you made. Some bonds simply open minds for future generations, even if they don’t remain forever.

11. He’s Still Uncertain About His Feelings.

While heading back home a few days ago, I had a conversation in the car with my friend, “Pratham.” 

Pratham said, “Varun, I’m dating an older girl, and I know we are a good match. But, I can’t figure out if we’re meant to be good friends or shall I pursue a relationship with her.”

Here’s the thing, girl: It’s common for men to be uncertain about the depth of their feelings, especially in the early stages of connecting with someone.

So, even if you share great chemistry with the guy, he may struggle to understand whether his attraction is fleeting infatuation or indications of genuine long-term compatibility.

If the guy seems to waver between expressing interest and then pulling back, it probably signals an internal debate between his head and his heart. 

He might like you but not want a relationship because he lacks emotional clarity.

What Shall I Do?

The solution is simple, my dear.

Just be patient with the guy. Understanding feelings takes time and maturity, so let it be. Pushing him will only stress him out.

Chill out together without pressure so any real romance can blossom naturally. The guy’s confusion isn’t about you; it’s just him learning himself.

End of the Line

So, there you have it, girl – A roundup of 11 common reasons a guy likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

Remember, it’s not about you personally. People are complicated!

Focus on self-care, staying open-minded, and communicating your wants clearly. The right person will show up with time.

Until then, keep smiling and be yourself. 

Sending good vibes and wisdom your way.     



Varun Pahwa

Varun Pahwa

Hi! I am Varun. I created Uprisehigh for you to share your life story & get answers to all your life problems. As your best friend, I’m committed to inspire you, simplify your life, and help you grow. Let’s stick together on this beautiful life journey, mate!



  1. Varun…I just found your website and am extremely impressed with your advice. I’m a bit older than many of your readers and I’m a therapist myself, dealing with matters of the heart. By trade I know all the answers, but reading your words of wisdom meant so much to me and provided food for thought. Thank you so much for providing this website and your heartfelt, sincere and insightful advice. I’m extremely thankful and impressed with your work!💕. It’s really helped me. Thank you so much. Namaste and many blessings to you and yours💕🌹

    1. Namaste Genevieve, 🙏

      Thanks a lot for your comment. It literally made my day! I feel really honored to be appreciated by you and I’m glad that I could contribute to your perspective. Such comments help me realize that I’m on the right track and my words are reaching the ears that really need them.

      Hope to keep listening and learning from you.

      Thanks a lot once again, dear!

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