Is Your Friend Actually a Fake Friend? Here’s How to Know

Imagine this: You and your friend, let’s call her Mary, have been inseparable for years. You’ve shared the ups and downs of life, laughed at countless jokes, and celebrated special occasions together.

But lately, something feels off! Mary regularly cancels plans to meet you. She responds with a half-hearted “that’s nice” when you share your achievements. Further, she seems distracted when you’re having deep conversations with her. Mary’s support and encouragement have been replaced by indifference.

Doubts and questions start creeping into your mind: “Does Mary really value me? Am I just an option for her?”

If this story sounds similar, you’re in the right spot. In this post, I’ll share 10 subtle signs of a fake friendship.

So, let’s begin.

They’re a Toxic Friend If…

They Usually Make Hurtful Comments on You or Tease You

We all engage in playful banter with our friends from time to time. It really makes the friendship fun and lighthearted. Isn’t it? 

However, friendly teasing and hurtful comments are entirely different. It’s straightaway a red flag when your friend teases you demeaningly and targets your insecurities. 

Over time, such derogatory comments can hamper your self-esteem and overall well-being. Your friend’s words should never hurt or make you question your worth. 

They Strictly Follow the “No Sorry, No Thank You” Rule

You do something kind for your friend and expect a simple thank you. However, instead of expressing appreciation, they act as if your gesture wasn’t a big deal. Similarly, when they make a mistake or hurt your feelings, they don’t even apologize.

Friendships thrive on mutual respect, appreciation, and accountability. Apologizing and expressing gratitude help maintain a strong and balanced connection.

When your friend always refuses to say “sorry” or “thank you,” it creates a relationship imbalance and shows they’re simply toxic.

I agree there’s no need to be formal in friendship, but there are moments when you should apologize or express gratitude. It’s the bare minimum, right?    

Your Opinions Are Often Ignored or Unheard

How does your friend respond when you discuss anything with them? Do they show interest in your opinions or disregard them straightaway?

If it’s the latter, they’re not a genuine friend.

In a healthy friendship, the thoughts and opinions of both parties are equally valued and respected. True friends create a safe space for open dialogue and meaningful conversations. 

However, when your friend constantly ignores or dismisses your perspective, a one-sided dynamic is created where your thoughts and feelings are simply undervalued.   

There’s a Huge Communication Barrier

It feels like hitting a wall every time you try talking with your friend. They’re emotionally unavailable and uninterested in having deep and meaningful conversations. 

You try to open up or seek support, but they lack genuine engagement and only give surface-level responses. You’re the only one who reaches out, while they don’t even bother dropping you a text. 

They Gossip Behind Your Back

Have you overheard a conversation or received information that your friend is spreading rumors and sharing your personal details without your consent?

If so, it’s a clear sign it’s just a toxic friendship. Such gossips are trust-breakers and depict that your friend doesn’t respect your feelings or personal boundaries.

A true friend who values you would always prioritize loyalty and confidentiality. They respect your boundaries and never engage in gossip behind your back that could harm your reputation or your friendship.    

They Don’t Give a Damn About Your Life!

Meaningful friendships are built on care, support, and genuine interest in each other’s lives. 

But if your friend always shows a lack of interest or concern about what’s happening in your life, they just don’t value you.

True friends actively engage in each other’s lives. They invest their time and energy in understanding each other’s goals, dreams, and struggles. Further, they show interest, offer a listening ear during hard times, and celebrate achievements together.

They’re Never by Your Side During the Hard Times

What happens when you call your friend for support during the hard times?

• Do they offer a listening ear or shoulder to lean on?
• Do they seem distant, uninterested, or completely unavailable?

If they’re always absent when you need them, it’s just a toxic one-sided friendship.

Genuine friends who truly value you stand by your side through thick and thin. They offer a compassionate presence, a helping hand, and a non-judgmental space to share your struggles.

They Criticize You Destructively

You share your achievements, ideas, or endeavors with your friend, but rather than offering you constructive feedback, they tear you down with hurtful comments. They focus solely on your flaws and ignore your strengths and efforts.

See, when it’s a real friend, they deliver constructive criticism with kindness and respect. They try to uplift you and encourage you while providing suggestions for growth. 

But if they’re toxic, they destructively criticize you, which only demoralizes you.  

They’re Always Taking, Never Giving

Friendship is a two-way street in which both parties contribute, support, and give to each other. But, do you feel that your friend is always taking, never giving? For instance, they reach out to you whenever they need any favor, financial support, or emotional support, but run away when you seek the same.

If so, they’re just using you for their own benefit.

A true friend who values you understands the importance of equal giving and receiving. They appreciate your presence, value your contributions, and try to give back.

They Only Use You as a Backup Option

Do you often notice that your friend rarely initiates or shows interest in spending time together? But when their friends are busy or cancel on them, your friend quickly reaches out to see if you’re available.

If so, it’s a toxic friendship, and you’re just another option for them.

When you are friends with a person who actually values you, they prioritize you and try to spend time together. Further, you’re the first person in their plans, not the last one on their list.

End of the Line

You know what? It’s okay to let go of friendships that no longer serve you so you don’t suffer in the long run.

Friendship is a two-way street, so reflect on your actions too. Be the kind of friend you wish to have in life. Embrace your value and create a life full of meaningful connections and joy.

Keep smiling, dear!

See you in the next post.