17 Signs Your Ex Is Leaving the Door Open (+What to Do)

Did you recently break up with your partner? Have you been wondering if they still have feelings for you?

Well, it’s only natural to be curious about it. 

The best way to identify if your ex still feels for you is to look for certain signs. People who are deeply in love behave in a certain way that gives away their true feelings and intentions. 

So, my friend, I have compiled a list of 17 secret signs your ex is leaving the door open for reconciliation. I can almost guarantee you that after going through this list, you’ll be aware of your ex’s intentions with you.

So, let’s get started.

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Why Your Ex Might Be Leaving the Door Open?

Before we begin with the signs, I’ll quickly share why your ex might be keeping that door open:

• Emotional attachment: They’re not quite ready to let go of the feelings you shared.
• Fear of the unknown: Starting over with someone new can be scary, and you’re a familiar comfort.
• Unresolved issues: There might be loose ends they want to tie up.
• Hope for reconciliation: They’re secretly wishing you’ll get back together.
• Guilt: If they initiated the breakup, they might feel bad about their decision.
• Habit: You’ve been a big part of their life, and old habits die hard.
• Keeping options open: They’re not sure if they want to commit to being fully apart.

How to Tell if Your Ex Still Wants You Back? 17 Clues

1. They Still Call and Text You.

Just think about it. Why would your ex try to keep in touch when things have officially ended between you two? 

That’s because a part of them still refuses to let you go!

It is exactly what happened with my ex-boyfriend James (I’ve changed his name to conceal his identity). After dating for a few years, we realized we were not the right fit. So, we amicably decided to put an end to our relationship. 

But, even though I maintained my distance, I regularly received ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts from him. We would talk to each other as if nothing happened and we were still together!

So, if your ex is still trying to talk to you, it indicates they still have feelings for you. They may not say it, but constant contact after a breakup cannot mean anything else.

2. They Still Update You About Their Life.

See, I already told you that if your ex is calling and texting you very often, they might be considering getting back with you. 

But, if they happen to update you about their life constantly, that’s another hint you can look out for. 

Did they tell you you they switched their job last month or that they’re going through a personal crisis? Are you aware of every single change happening in their life?

If yes, they haven’t completely let you go from their heart. You are not together anymore, but they are leaving the possibility of getting back together

3. They Remind You of Your Best Moments Together.

If you were in a long-term relationship with your ex, you would have likely spent much time together. Those goofy inside jokes, random moments of intimacy, and participating in your favorite activities together made you both happy at some point in your relationship.

So, if they constantly recall those moments whenever you talk, it’s obvious they’re still not over you. 

Bonus Tip: Notice how they talk about those shared moments. Do you sense a hint of regret or happiness? If they happily recall those times, they most certainly miss you and want you back. 

4. They Say They Can’t Find Anyone to Date.

So you ask your ex one day, “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” And they tell you they can’t find someone like you.

Bestie, it’s a sure-shot sign they want you back but aren’t saying it. 

Maybe you shared an emotional connection with them that they can’t find anywhere else. Or perhaps they’re comparing you to others and simply don’t like them.

It’s a very subtle way of saying they can’t let you go, and you’re the right person.

5. Or Maybe, They Told You They’re “Casually” Dating Someone.

Okay, so you may wonder, “Why on earth will my ex date someone else if they still love me?” 

But let me tell you – It is possible!

How? Maybe the breakup was so hard on them that they had to find a rebound to get over you, or maybe they want to see if you’re jealous.

I’ll get back to my ex-boyfriend James. Just a few months after our breakup, James told me he started seeing a girl casually. A bit of jealousy crept into me, and I asked him about his new girl. He started to go on about how wonderful she was and how happy she made him. But he ended his sentence by saying he still sees me in her!

Yes, I know it’s dramatic, but that’s exactly what happened.

So, just because your ex is dating someone else doesn’t mean they’re over you. If they started to date another person right after breaking up with you, you may still be on their mind. Maybe they don’t want to admit it, but it’s a subtle hint they’re leaving the door open for reconciliation.

6. They Post About You on Their Social Channels.

Does your ‘ex’ post stories about love and relationships on their Instagram?

If their usual stories are replaced with poetries and love quotes, then my dear, they haven’t moved on from you yet. 

It could be their way of showing you that they still want you back but can’t say it. Maybe they want you to take the hint and make a move. 

7. They Still Follow You on Social Media.

What’s the first thing people do when they break up? They immediately remove their ex’s presence from their social media. 

However, if your ex still follows you on all your socials, it could mean they still want to know what’s happening in your life. 

Maybe your relationship was an essential part of their life, and even though you’ve parted ways, it’s difficult to erase all those memories with you. Or, perhaps, looking at your pictures brings out a particular emotion that your ex may not be ready to address yet.

So, if you notice your ex liking and commenting on your pictures online, chances are that they haven’t fully moved on and want you back.

8. Their Friends Try to Convince You.

I’ll again bring James into the picture to explain this point. 

It was a huge shock to our mutual friends when they learned about our breakup. So much so that one of James’s close friends reached out to me a few months later, saying that James misses me a lot. 

I explained to him why we had to break up and how things started turning toxic. But because James meant a lot to him, he asked me to reconsider our mutual decision of parting ways. 

Has something similar happened to you? Have your ex’s friends been reaching out to you lately? If yes, it means that they still love you. There’s a possibility that they’re too scared to face you directly, so they’re asking their friends to talk from their side. 

9. They Don’t Want You to Date Anyone Else.

You casually told your ex that you’re going to a party with your friends, and let me guess their reaction – they were uncomfortable and jealous! Well, that could be because they can’t see you with anyone else but themselves.

My ex, James, would lose his mind whenever I mentioned a guy in our conversation. I always felt he didn’t want me to move on with anyone else. And that’s because he secretly wanted us back together. 

If this is your situation, it mean they still have feelings for you! When we love someone, we naturally want to be around them.

12. They Drunk Text/Call You.

You can’t say some things out loud when you’re sober. So, you naturally turn towards alcohol! If your ex-partner does drunk calls or texts you, it means you’re on their mind 100%. 

It’s difficult to hide your true feelings when you’re drunk. So, when they approach you, just notice how they behave. What kind of things do they say? Do they get all mushy and emotional? Do they confess their feelings for you? 

If so, then that’s how they truly feel about you.

13. They Flirt With You All the Time.

Flirting, in general, indicates that a person wants to pursue some kind of relationship with you. But, when that person is your ex-partner, it’s a sure-shot sign that they miss your relationship. 

Whether through text message or when you both are hanging together, if you notice your ex casually flirting with you, it means they’re still interested in you but don’t want to admit it.

James would flirt with me all the time after we broke up. His subtle remarks about how I looked, dress, and talk made it clear that he wanted me back. He would also shower me with compliments whenever we met. 

14. They Miss Physical Intimacy.

For most people, physical intimacy is a way to deepen their emotional attachment with someone. 

So, if your ex misses the physical aspect of your relationship, it could mean they want to rekindle the romance between you both.

Do they hug you for an extra second when you meet? 
Do they try to hold your hand mid-conversation?
Do you see a sparkle in their eyes when you’re near them?

If yes, there’s a possibility your ex genuinely misses the physical closeness between you both. Maybe they think it’ll be easier for them to discuss what went wrong in your relationship if there’s some intimacy involved.

15. They Have All Your Presents and Belongings.

Think about it. The relationship is over. But your ex still has that piece of jewelry or a sweatshirt you gave them. They chose not to chuck it away. 

What does that mean? It means perhaps they still hold feelings for you. They think of your gifts as a precious possession and too valuable to get rid of. Your gifts have a special place in their heart. They are like the last reminder of your beautiful relationship, and they’re not ready to say goodbye to them. 

16. And, They Refuse to Take Their Gifts Back.

If your ex showered you with gifts when you were dating them, you might naturally feel the need to return those gifts after the breakup.

However, if they refuse to take them back, it could be a subtle sign that they still like you and want to have you back. Maybe they want those gifts to remind you of the beautiful moments you shared. Or they think seeing all those gifts will make you emotional and run into their arms again. 

17. They’re Always Emotionally Available.

It’s been months since you broke up, but your ex still offers you their shoulders to cry on. They are still a significant source of comfort and support in your life. 

If this is the case, they might be trying to rebuild the lost connection with you. They still care about your well-being and happiness and are not over you.

What to Do When You Realize Your Ex is Still Hoping for a Relationship?

So, you’ve spotted the signs that your ex is leaving the door open. Now what? Well, it really depends on how you feel about the situation. Let’s break it down based on two scenarios:

If You Still Have Feelings:

• Reflect on the breakup: Was the reason weak or easily fixable? If so, reconciliation might be worth considering.
• Communicate openly: Have an honest conversation about your feelings and concerns.
• Set clear expectations: Discuss what needs to change for the relationship to work this time.
• Take it slow: Don’t rush back in. Rebuild trust and connection gradually.
• Seek counseling: Consider relationship coaching to work through past issues together.

If You Don’t Have Feelings Anymore:

• Be honest: Clearly communicate that you don’t see a future together.
• Set boundaries: Limit contact to help both of you move on.
• Be kind but firm: Don’t give false hope. It’s unfair to both of you.
• Encourage moving on: Suggest they focus on personal growth and new relationships.
• Cut ties if necessary: If they can’t respect your decision, it might be best to end all contact.

A Word of Caution

Now, here’s something really important I want to share with you. I’ve seen a lot of relationships, the ones that are working really well (like married/getting married type of stuff) and some that are completely broken after patch-ups.

And let me tell you, those broken relationships had a serious reason behind their separation. But the couples in it were so habituated to each other that they couldn’t remain apart, hence, they’re still clinging on to each other and struggling in a toxic relationship.

In my opinion, reconciliation is only worth considering if the reason behind the breakup was really weak. But if the reason was too strong – maybe cheating, abuse, or other serious issues – and you’re thinking about getting back together just because you’re used to being with that person, it’s better to resist that urge.

Your well-being should always come first. A healthy relationship should add to your life, not drain it. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away and start fresh.

It might be tough at first, but you’ll be in a far better situation in the long run.

How to Have a Closure Conversation if You Feel Stuck

When you reach out to your ex for the conversation, just keep it simple. Try something like, “I was hoping we could have a brief chat. It would help me find some closure.”

This conversation can be over the call or in-person. (btw if you have the courage to face them, I would suggest talking in-person.)

Tip #1: Now, when you’re having the conversation, be real about your feelings, but keep it respectful. Start with something like, “I appreciate you talking to me/meeting me. I wanted to clear things up because I think it might help us both move forward.”

Tip #2: No need to pick up the old fights – focus on what you’ve learned instead. You could say, “Our relationship taught me a lot about myself, and I’m grateful for that experience.”

Tip #3: Be crystal clear about where you stand. If there’s no chance of getting back together, say so gently but firmly. Try, “I value the time we had together, but I think we’re on different paths now.” And yes, don’t forget to listen. Your ex might have some things to share too.

Tip #4: Keep it short and sweet – aim for about 30 minutes. As you wrap up, you might say, “Thank you for this conversation. It’s helped me understand things better, and I hope it’s been helpful for you too.”

Afterwards, give yourself some time to process. Maybe call a friend, a family member, or someone else you’re really close to. This talk was just one step toward your new journey. It might not be easy, but I know you’ve got this.

Conclusion

So hey, my friend, we’ve come to the end of this blog.

See, breakups are complicated, and everybody deals with it differently.

But just because a beautiful relationship has ended doesn’t mean it stands no chance of blooming again. If your ex displays these 17 signs, your chapter is still not over!

So, carefully ponder over these signs and let me know what you think. The comment section is all yours. 

I’ll return with more such blogs to help you with your relationships. Until then, see ya!

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