Why Can’t I Get Someone off My Mind? (11 Reasons + Fixes)
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Wondering why you can’t get someone off your mind? Discover the 11 possible reasons and how to stop thinking about them in each situation.
Are you stuck in a situation where you can’t get someone off your mind? If so, you may be fed up with wasting hours revolving your thoughts around them.
So, what can you do in such a situation?
Well, you need to identify the cause to come up with a solution. In short, you need to figure out “why” you’re constantly thinking about the other person.
So, in this post, I’ll tell you 11 reasons you can’t get someone off your mind. It will help you answer your “why” quickly. Further, I’ll share how to stop thinking about that person in each situation.
Let’s dive right into it.
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1. You’re in Love With Them.
Love is a beautiful emotion that makes life worth living!
When you fall in love, you feel happy, excited, and become addicted to the other person. Your heart beats faster when you think about them, and your stomach flutters when they call.
If there’s someone stuck in your mind, it may be because you’re in love with them.
When you’re in love, you don’t just think about your lover; you dream about them. And when you dream about them, you often find yourself thinking about them at odd times throughout the day.
What To Do?
My dear, falling in love is not a sin!
If you’ve developed feelings for someone, why don’t you just admit it and express those feelings to the other person?
Now you might say, “Varun, What if the other person doesn’t love me back?” To find out, ask yourself these questions:
- Does the other person show interest in you?
- Are they attentive and responsive?
- Do you never have to force them to talk to you?
- Does he (she) understand your needs and desires?
- Does the other person seem genuinely concerned about your well-being?
- Do they treat you with respect?
- Does he (she) accept you for who you are?
If most answers are “yes”, the chances are you’re being loved.
Now, you can either express your love for them or regret later. The choice is yours!
2. They’re Your Twin Flame.
Twin flames are two souls destined for each other. For your convenience, you can consider twin flames as “One soul split into two bodies.”
Twin flames complete each other and share similar interests, goals, and values. However, twin flame relationships are super rare, and not everyone finds their twin flame.
But does it mean you won’t find your twin flame too?
Obviously not!
One of the most common traits of twin flames is they constantly think about each other because of their intense soul connection. When one person thinks of the other, a connection is established, and the other person automatically starts thinking about them.
If you are unable to get someone off your mind, it may be because they are your twin flame.
What To Do?
A single sign is not enough to surely predict that the other person is your twin flame!
You actually need to identify whether the other person is your twin flame or not! For the same, you can check out my post on “twin flame relationships.“
Once you’re confirmed, just calm down because it’s natural for twin flames to think about each other. You don’t need to do much about it; Rather, just enjoy the feeling.
JUST BE CAREFUL that your thoughts don’t turn into obsessive behavior. Obsessive thoughts can be very distracting and interfere with your ability to live a happy life.
When you notice yourself obsessing over your twin flame, try to identify the triggers and avoid them. For instance, if you think about your twin flame when you’re idle for long, make it a habit to keep yourself busy with small activities.
3. You Seek Revenge.
When someone hurts you, it feels highly terrible!
You may feel the urge to cry out loud, yell, or insult the other person. Else, you might resist expressing all your emotions. Either way, you’re full of anger and sadness.
Think about it. Did the other person do something wrong to you? Did they humiliate you or hurt you?
If your answer is “yes,” It may be why you can’t get them off your mind.
Right now, your mind may be in “rebel mode.” Hence, you may be planning things to teach them a lesson and take revenge.
But is “revenge” the only solution? Read on…
What To Do?
When you go after someone who wronged you, you feel great satisfaction when you finally get them.
However, revenge is not always the right way to handle things. Revenge only hurts you and others.
You may feel better temporarily when you seek revenge, but it won’t solve any underlying issues. Furthermore, revenge usually backfires and makes things worse in the long run.
Rather than seeking revenge, find ways to forgive and move forward. There are times when you need to let go of anger toward someone who hurt you if you genuinely want to move forward. Forgiveness makes you peaceful, stronger, and happier. It’s a win-win situation.
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4. They’ve Challenged Your Perceptions.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
If the other person falls in the category of “smart people,” you must be having some really great discussions on various topics.
Do you remember the conversations both of you had with them last time? Were they around spirituality, politics, or any other topic that turned into a healthy argument? If yes, it may be why you’re unable to them off your mind.
The other person could’ve challenged your thoughts and ideologies so strongly that you may still be wondering which one of you was correct.
What To Do?
We gain perceptions from life experiences. Challenging them helps us grow in life and get rid of misconceptions.
However, there are some times when you become narrow-minded and closed to others’ perceptions.
Don’t let narrow-mindedness hamper your growth!
If someone has challenged your perceptions, at least try giving it an unbiased thought. Figure out what’s truly correct and stick to that ideology.
After making an unbiased decision, you’ll automatically stop getting unnecessary thoughts about the other person.
5. There’s a Deep Bond Between Both of You.
Do you remember what happened when you last met the other person? Did they create a profound effect on you?
If the answer is “yes,” it means you have a deep connection with this person. You make deep bonds with people who share similar interests and values.
When you find a person with whom you share interests and values, you feel comfortable talking to them. That comfort level builds trust, which leads to deeper conversations and greater understanding.
And when you understand each other better, you’re more likely to enjoy each other’s presence.
Further, you simply can’t get someone off your mind with whom you have fun, who understands you well, and who makes you feel comfortable.
What To Do?
It’s not necessary to stress out about everything in the world! Just relax and enjoy the other person’s company when he (she) is with you.
Instead of constantly worrying about how to permanently get rid of those thoughts (which you won’t be able to), learn to embrace them. Make them a part of your routine.
Just don’t let those thoughts interfere with your daily goals and tasks.
If they do, face them consciously for a few minutes in a single go and finally get back to work. It is much better than allowing pieces of those thoughts to disturb you at regular intervals.
6. Your Mind Is Decoding Them.
Whenever you look at something new, how does your mind react?
It starts to understand “what the new thing is,” right?
Similarly, if you’ve met the other person recently, your mind may be trying to decode “who they really are.” The same could also happen when you’ve learned something absolutely new (good or bad) about them.
Further, when your mind is in “learning mode,” you are unable to get someone out of your head. It’s because you’re trying to deeply analyze whether the person is the right person to be with or not. If they are, you wonder how you should treat them, and what are the boundaries that you need to set.
What To Do?
Rather than escaping the thoughts about the other person, you can dedicate a few minutes to thinking about them.
When you’re doing so, try to answer each query about them that pops up in your head.
Getting to know the other person in detail would be highly beneficial in the long run. You won’t have to water a dead relationship that isn’t expected to flourish in the future. Further, you’ll get to stay away from the relationship problem which may arise with time.
There would be peace everywhere.
7. They Shine Differently.
There are instances in your life when you meet some people that are totally different from the crowd.
They are the people who always have a broad smiles on their faces, have unique perspectives toward life, and are overflowing with positivity. In most cases, they have a bubbly personality.
You can’t get someone off your mind if they have such a wonderful personality. It is because such people are infectious and when you’re surrounded by these “shiny” people, you feel better too.
Everything about their personality makes them very likable, and it’s easy to become good friends with them.
What To Do?
It’s natural to be attracted to people having such impressive personalities. You may even feel infatuated sometimes, but it’s vital not to consider it love.
When you’re frustrated or have wasted too much time thinking about the other person, just engage yourself in a different activity. Make sure to do something that you really love so that you can entirely focus on it.
If required, You can also try self-control techniques such as meditation, yoga, or some mindfulness activities.
8. They Remind You of a Lost Loved One.
When you can’t get someone off your mind, it may be because the other person reminds you of someone else (maybe a loved one) who went away from you. It could be your ex, close friend, family member, or someone deceased.
If you are unsure who does the person “you’re always thinking about” reminds you of, ask yourself these questions:-
- Do they speak like someone else you knew? If yes, who sounded like them?
- Are their qualities and values similar to someone else’s?
- Do their overall style and attitude resemble someone else’s style and attitude?
Finally, when you connect the dots backward and answer all these questions, you’ll get to know who they remind you of.
What To Do?
There could be two scenarios when you’re with the other person:
1. You feel happy and enjoy each moment spent with them. It feels like the person you lost came back into your life, and your life has changed for good.
2. Their presence makes you sad, and you’re back into the memories of the person you lost. The flashback makes you miss the person even more, and your emotions deteriorate.
If it’s case one: Allow your thoughts to flow when thinking about the other person. Express gratitude that you received them once again into your life.
If it’s case two: I suggest you maintain some distance from the other person to prevent excruciating emotional pain.
Yeah, Running away may not be the best choice, but if things are not under your control, there’s nothing else you can do. It’s much better than constant suffering, isn’t it?
9. You Want To Give Them a Hand.
It makes you feel good inside when you help others. And when you’re helping others, you’re actually helping yourself too! (I am talking about the karma game here.)
Did you realize any hidden potential inside the other person? Or are they suffering in life, and you’re concerned about them?
If your answer is “yes” to any of the above questions, maybe you want to help them, which is why you can’t get them off your mind.
You don’t want that person’s potential to stay unrealized and go in vain. Or if they are stuck in something, you know there’s something you can do to provide them substantial help.
What To Do?
Firstly, if you really have an intention to offer a helping hand to the other person, I salute you! There are much lesser people who want others to climb up than people who want to pull others down.
Coming back to the topic, if you really want to help the other person in any way, you need to identify first whether they need your help or not. If they don’t require your assistance, they will obviously push you away.
These few signs will help you know that they need help:-
- They are unable to express their feelings.
- Even when they smile, you can identify the pain they’re covering.
- They’ve changed recently and seem to be more sad than happy.
- They’ve started distancing themselves from people and spending more time alone.
When you’ve observed most of these signs, go ahead and talk to the person. Slowly and steadily, get a bit closer to them and help them vent their feelings.
Once you’re sure you can offer help, do the best you can do.
10. The Universe Has Planned Something for You.
You would’ve heard this phrase from couples around you:-“We just met by chance and started dating each other.”
What does “met by chance” mean? It means that the universe brought them together so they could enter into a relationship.
When you’re unable to get someone off your mind, it may signify that the universe is trying to bring both of you together.
These are five more common universe signs you can look for:-
- Both of you cross each other paths often.
- Your gut feeling tells you that good things are on their way.
- You’ve entirely escaped your past.
- You see love all around you.
- You can observe repeating numbers.
If you see most of these signs, the chances are both of you will be together soon.
What To Do?
Firstly, don’t get confused that both of you would only form a “love relationship!” There could be any reason behind the union. It may be the beginning of a karmic relationship, meeting a soul family member, or anything else.
Further, clear your mind, acknowledge the universe’s signs, and identify the kind of connection you’re having. Once you’re done with it, make the first move, reach out to the other person and start interacting. The more you delay, the more you’ll keep having their thoughts.
11. They’ve Inspired You.
Think about it. Do you look up to the other person as an inspiration for you? Do you want to achieve what they have?
If yes, it may be why you can’t get them off your mind!
When you’re inspired by someone, you try to emulate their behavior. You’re always wondering how the other person would react if they were in your situation. You keep revolving thoughts about them in your head to be able to think, behave, and act like them.
What To Do?
Your life would be boring if you didn’t constantly strive to improve yourself.
If you were not driven to better yourself, you’d never grow as a person. Being inspired by someone is a part of the self-growth journey.
As it’s said:
You can’t be what you can’t see.
~Marian Wright Edelman
You need to look up to your role model to realize that what you’re trying to achieve is possible. So, it’s okay to visualize them in your mind often.
Just make sure that you don’t get so involved in the process of imitating the other person that you lose your authentic self. It won’t be worth it!
When You Can’t Get Someone off Your Mind, Are They Thinking of You?
Have you ever asked yourself – Is it true that if you can’t get someone off your mind, you are on their mind?
Well, the chances are slim. Sometimes, it might happen that you are thinking about each other at the same moment but not always.
Still, there’s an exception. If you’ve recently separated from the other person and they were close to you, you might often be on each other’s mind. It’s because you miss the other person and consciously draw your attention toward them frequently.
End of the Line
It is a fact that you won’t be able to get someone off your mind in a blink. It may even take a few weeks or months, depending upon the intensity of the connection between them and you.
So, don’t criticize or be too harsh on yourself. Give yourself sufficient time to overcome other person’s thoughts. Whatever you’re going through is totally normal!
Before you leave the post, I request you to come back in the future after applying the tips and comment below if you found them helpful. Forward it to your loved ones who need to read it too. To be updated with the upcoming posts, don’t forget to hit the bell icon at the bottom right of your screen.
I hope you get out of your “thoughts” rut soon!
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Varun Pahwa
Hey there! I’m Varun, founder of Uprisehigh.com. I’m committed to helping people through relationship problems and general life issues so they never feel alone.
While not blogging, you’ll find me lifting weights, spending time in solitude, seeking life’s answers or enjoying time with close ones.
Join me on Uprisehigh and just like a close friend, you’ll find me by your side on every step of your life journey!
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A little update: since I cannot function normally cause he’s always in my head :-D, I even told him goodbye (in my head) and thanked for this short but still beautiful experience. After that I would still see numbers. Later, he came again into my head, and there was a certain love song which popped into my mind. Then I went to take my cell phone and there was 22:22.
Next day he was in my head so I have opened this article of yours to see if there is an answer and saw 14:44.
So, my question is: does all of this mean something or am I just seeing what I want?
Thanks. And no updates anymore 🙂
Hey Clarissa,
Thanks a lot for sharing your entire story. I went through each and every word!
So, here’s the thing: Let’s stop wondering whether it was a spiritual sign or wishful thinking as it wouldn’t change the reality or any of the things you’ve felt. You felt amazing and wanted to interact with the guy is what matters the most. Hence, let’s focus on what could be done ahead, do you agree?
Hi,
thank you for the reply. Yes, either way what is left now is the future and what happens in it.
So, Clarissa, here’s my honest thought and opinion:
Just the day when you saw the guy, you felt an instant attraction toward him. No doubt, he was extremely different and someone of your type. Such instant attraction stuff is usual, just the intensity is variable.
However, as you didn’t get the chance to interact with him, even when your heart wanted to, he became fixated in your head. You could be still somehow wondering, “What could’ve been if you got to know each other.”
Eventually, what happens is, when you’re so willing to know and meet someone, you start manifesting or attracting them toward you. (Such instances have happened a lot with me)
Hence, You came across him a few more times but didn’t interact and that’s when your heart started wanting to interact with him even more. The intensity of wanting to know him kept consistently increasing.
Now, as the time is passing by, your heart and brain knows how much you’re willing to talk to him, hence your brain is directly focusing on the spiritual signs. (Just the way if you think about white cars, you’ll see a lot of white cars on the road.)
So, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a spiritual sign or something else, please make sure to reach out to the guy and have a word with him the next time you get to meet him. Don’t hesitate to make the first move! Also, please allow yourself to feel what you’re going through, no need to escape your feelings.
Let me know if you agree on this!
Thank you for your honest answer.
I fully understand your words and what you mean. Also it makes sense. Why not, can be an explanation to my situation.
The only thing is… I didn’t think about that guy or manifest him in the beginning. He would just come sometimes into my head, as a male person who I noticed to look at me each time he sees me and whom I find to be interesting. If he hadn’t been “staring” he wouldn’t have come into my head.
But later, when he, besides looking at me, also smiled at me and showed an interest…I started thinking about him. It was different. And then is when he disappeared. It can be that I manifested him the last time I saw him 🤔 Or maybe the entire time with couple of thoughts? Or he myself?
Anyway, if I get to see him… I don’t approach men, but I’ll give him a chance to approach me 😆 We’ll see what happens.
I like your website, interesting articles 🙂
Thanks for the appreciation, Clarissa! I hope he either approaches you, or you’re eventually able to get him out of your head if you don’t cross each other’s path.
Either way, I wish you get out of the situation soon.
Hi,
thank you for this article. I would really appreciate your opinion on my story, cause I don’t know anymore if I’m gone mad cause of the possibility of wishful thinking or if there is something more spiritual going on. Just tell me honestly what you think.
It happened several months ago. I decided I will be my true self – in my styling, in my attitude, I will not ignore or change parts of myself so I could fit this world, but I will be loyal to myself and that way I will attract someone who is really for me. I decided being true to myself is more important than my loneliness. On that day I went out cause I had some business to do. Several meters away there was a guy/man standing and looking at me (there is a gym). I put my head down and when I got closer to him I looked at him and he was still looking at me. I went away. He was so different than anyone else, physically, he totally stood out, like a ray of sun. My type, someone I could fall in love with. But I didn’t want to give to much thought to this in order not to create fantasies in my head and hurt myself with something that isn’t there. After that we passed each other few times more, but either I didn’t notice him or he me. Interesting, when he did come to my mind I wouldn’t see him. And when he was completely out of my mind he would appear.
The last time was 2 months ago. I didn’t think about him at all. I was living my life. I was walking towards my house and there he was, standing and when he noticed me he put his head down and smiled to himself. When I got closer to him I looked at him, he was looking into my eyes and then he smiled at me. I smiled too. And continued to my house. He saw where I lived, he was observing my house, and then looking at me while I was passing by, it was so obvious. I went inside the house.
If he wanted to initiate a contact with me, I didn’t understand that back then. I don’t understand those male-female signs. I just thought, “ok, he knows where I live, he comes sometimes to the gym, we will meet again, hopefully next time we will talk, meet each other”…because, now I was totally into him. There was something about him – in his looks, in his attitude, in the way he was looking at me…there was just something which I rarely see in a man and he had it. I have totally fallen for him. He was always in my thoughts. And I haven’t seen him anymore. I was so disappointed, like “is the Universe playing games with me” – “you give me something and then you take it away when I start wanting it”.
I was a lot in the same place at the same time hoping he will come. “Why didn’t he come, did he feel rejected the last time I went away when he smiled, did I do something wrong, or was he only playing with me, or is something wrong with him”… I wanted to see him so much cause I liked him so much. It was magical. Especially cause I rarely see someone who sweps me off my feet. I was sad and confused. I wanted to see him.
After a month and a half I was going to my house in the morning hours. And then in the very second (or few seconds) happened what seemed like only the universe can orchestrate: I was outside in the streets and he was inside in the building which I was passing by. I was walking towards my house and he was walking in that building in the opposite direction of mine. In that second the door of that building opened and I heard a man laugh so I looked aside and there he was: it was his laugh with a friend. I was looking at him surprised through that opened door and he was looking at me. Since he was going into opposite direction, he had to turn and I continued to my house. It all happened in a few seconds.
Now, even more I could not let it go. I started practicing “manifesting/telepathy” videos I found on Youtube, I just wanted to let him know that I liked him and wanted to see him (in case he felt rejected by me?). I started seeing numbers, very often, when both thinking and not thinking about him, I felt like I could feel him and that he was also thinking about me. One day I had this huge feeling I would see him, the entire time it was there, but he did not show up. Have I created this feeling inside myself and it was only myself all along, not him?
I am telling myself that I overreacted, it was a wishful thinking, maybe this seems crazy too, maybe it’s not normal what I created in my head. I want him out of my head, but he is still there, this guy who probably doesn’t even remember me. Sometimes it’s like he doesn’t want to go out of my head 🙂 So, I want him to go away, but he’s there.
Tell me that I am crazy and that I created all of that, and that universe had nothing to do with that.
Thank you very much.