10 Reasons You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her (+Quick Fixes)

Updated On: April 13, 2023

Are constant thoughts of a girl frustrating and distracting you? Discover these 10 reasons you can’t stop thinking about her and what you can do.


Reasons you can't stop thinking about her.

Are you unable to stop thinking about a girl, no matter how hard you try? Maybe you’re constantly daydreaming about her or scrolling through her social media profiles late at night.

If yes, you’re not alone! It’s a common experience that has puzzled many people (including me).

So, have you ever asked yourself, “Why can’t you stop thinking about her?”

Nope? You should! Sometimes, knowing the reason helps you navigate the situation better.

To help you get a quick answer, I’ll share the top 10 reasons you can’t stop thinking about her. The cherry on the cake is – I’ll tell you exactly what to do in every situation.

So, grab a drink and continue reading.

10 Certain Reasons You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her (+What to Do?)

It’s natural to think about someone you have feelings for, whether it’s a crush, a significant other, or someone you recently met.

But sometimes, it can feel like your thoughts about her are taking over, and you just can’t shake them off. 

Here are ten reasons why you might be constantly thinking about that special someone and what you can do about it.

1. You’ve Fallen for Her.

I’ll share two incredible facts with you:- 

  • A survey reported that men felt love and said “I love you” at earlier stages in a relationship.
  • Another survey showed that more men than women believed in love at first sight.

But how are these facts connected to you?

So, in your case, if you’ve fallen in love with a girl, you can’t stop thinking about her!

Being in love is one of the most wonderful and magical experiences you can experience.

When you’re in love with someone, you feel a profound connection to them that goes beyond physical attraction. You admire and respect them and feel comfortable and safe around them.

It’s not just a fleeting feeling of infatuation but a deep and abiding affection that lasts over time. Thoughts of that person occupy your mind, and you want to spend as much time as possible with them.

What to Do?

The first question you must ask yourself is – “Is it actually love or just a temporary attraction?

Are you mentally, emotionally, and circumstantially ready to enter a relationship if it’s love? 

If it’s a yes again, you need to identify whether she likes you back too.

Here are seven signs to confirm you aren’t in an unrequited love:-

7 signs you aren't in an unrequited love
  • She’s always excited to see you.
  • She makes time for you.
  • She opens up to you.
  • She’s affectionate towards you.
  • She supports you.
  •  She makes future plans with you.
  • She seeks and values your opinions.

Once everything seems to be in your favor, Mate, Express your love before it’s too late! Communicate your feelings to her and begin your beautiful love journey.

2. It’s Just Infatuation.

Remember those childhood days when you (and your little friends) used to fall in love with every girl who had a chit-chat with you?

So, what happened next? 

She faded away from your memory after a few minutes or a few hours because it was just infatuation!

So, let’s come to the main point. One reason you can’t stop thinking about a girl could be because you’re infatuated with her.

When you’re infatuated with a girl, she occupies your thoughts, dreams, and fantasies. 

Hence, you find yourself constantly daydreaming about her, wondering what she’s doing, and replaying moments you’ve spent with her in your mind. You may even imagine scenarios where you’re laughing and having fun together.

Now you may ask – “If infatuation is short-lived, why have I been thinking about her for so long?” 

Unfortunately, mate, the harsh truth is: Infatuation can last from 18 months to 3 years. (as per psychologist Dorothy Tenov)

What to Do?

Firstly, you need to ensure that you’re actually experiencing infatuation. So, here are six quick signs you may be infatuated with a girl:-

  • You don’t know much about her but still feel strongly for her.
  • You feel she’s perfect.
  • You’re obsessed with her. (constantly stalking her, waiting for her replies, etc.)
  • You’re more interested in the thrill of the chase or the excitement of the relationship than in building a long-term, healthy relationship.
  • You’re more interested in the idea of being in love than in the actual person.
  • There’s a constant rush of emotions.

So, now as you know you’re experiencing infatuation, there are a few things you can do to manage your feelings.

Firstly, you need to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Realize that you have feelings for that girl and that it’s okay to feel the way you do.

Further, take a step back and give yourself some space from thinking about her. Set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. It will help you gain a better perspective and lessen the intensity of your emotions.

Finally, never forget that it’s infatuation (not love) that is often short-lived. It will fade away with time, so ensure you don’t waste too much time and effort.

3. You’ve Formed a Deep Emotional Connection With Her.

There are some people in our lives who we simply click with. It’s as if they “get” us, and we feel an almost instant connection with them.

When you’ve formed a deep emotional connection with someone, it’s like that connection has been taken to the next level. You feel an intense bond that goes beyond just enjoying each other’s company – it’s like you’re soulmates.

So, let me ask you a few questions:

  • Did you share everything with the girl you can’t get out of your head?
  • Did you complete each other’s sentences?
  • Did she console you whenever you hit the rock bottom in life?

If your answer is a “yes,” you may have formed a deep emotional connection with her. Further, your emotional bond is why you can’t stop thinking about her.

This emotional connection may come from shared experiences or values, or it may simply be a natural chemistry that draws you to each other.

When your bond is so powerful, it’s hard to imagine life without them. You feel a sense of intimacy and understanding that goes beyond surface-level interactions. You can talk to them for hours, and it feels like time flies by.

What to Do?

As you have a deep emotional connection with the girl, you may feel she’s the right match for you.

But hold on, mate. Things aren’t so simple!

You must take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively, considering factors such as compatibility, shared values, and long-term goals.

If you feel this person is truly the right match for you, it may be worth pursuing a relationship and seeing where things go. 

But if you’re not sure, or if you feel that your emotions are clouding your judgment, it may be best to take some time to reflect on your feelings and gain some clarity before making any big decisions.

Once you’ve figured out everything, you’ll automatically stop thinking about her.

4. You Have Unresolved Issues With Her.

You can't stop thinking about her because you have unresolved issues with her.

Do you often find yourself constantly replaying a conversation or interaction with the girl in your head, unable to shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right?

Maybe there was an argument, a misunderstanding, or a sense of discomfort that was never fully addressed.

Whatever the reason, your unresolved issue may be why you can’t stop thinking about her.

Such unresolved issues can be frustrating and confusing. They’re like a knot in your stomach that won’t go away. And no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, your mind keeps returning to them.

What to Do?

Mate, unresolved conflicts only go away once you address them!

I know. It can be scary to confront her about an issue that’s been bothering you, especially if you’re worried about how she’ll react. However, bottling up your feelings isn’t healthy either. The longer you let things simmer, the harder you’ll find it to stop thinking about her.

That said, just make sure to approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Avoid being confrontational or accusatory and instead focus on finding a way forward that works for both of you.

If you’re unable to resolve the issue, it might be time to accept that it’s something you cannot change

That doesn’t mean you have to completely cut the person out of your life, but it might mean adjusting your expectations and finding a way to move forward without that knot in your stomach.

5. She’s Your Twin Flame.

You may not know this until now, but the girl you can’t stop thinking about might be your twin flame.

Now you might ask, what is a twin flame?

In short, a twin flame is a concept in spirituality that refers to a single soul split into two different bodies. 

Twin flames are extremely rare. So, if you want to know if the girl is your twin flame, you can check out our post on twin flame relationships

When twin flames meet, there is an intense connection and feeling of familiarity that is hard to explain. However, twin flames often experience separation, which can be difficult and confusing.

When twin flames are apart, they can’t help but think about each other constantly. It’s like a magnetic pull that cannot be ignored.

This constant thinking and longing can be both exhilarating and exhausting simultaneously. You may find yourself constantly checking your phone or social media, hoping for any sign of your twin flame.

What to Do?

Unfortunately, you can’t do anything to stop thinking about your twin flame. However, you can accept this truth and start living with it.

In the initial phase of meeting your twin flame, your emotions are at their peak, and it’s even more difficult to divert your thoughts from your twin flame.  

However, things would settle with time. So don’t be too harsh on yourself. Remember that it’s a normal and natural experience for many people.

Practice mindfulness, and focus on your in-hand tasks. You’ll eventually become better at controlling your thoughts.  

6. She Has Broken Your Heart.

You can't stop thinking about her because she has broken your heart.

My friend went through a breakup a year ago, but he’s unable to get his ex off his mind even when he knows she was wrong.

So yeah, if the girl has broken your heart, you may find it difficult to stop thinking about them. It doesn’t matter if there were unrequited feelings or a complete breakup.

You may feel a sense of loss and longing, even if you know deep down that the relationship wasn’t healthy or sustainable.

One reason is that our brains are wired to remember emotional experiences more vividly than neutral ones. So, even if you’ve moved on from the relationship in a logical sense, your emotional memory of it may still be very strong.

Sometimes, you may even idealize her even if she broke your heart. You may remember only the good times and overlook why the relationship ultimately didn’t work out.

What to Do?

Even though my friend still remembers his ex, his heartache has massively reduced.


Well, he often unburdened himself by sharing his feelings and emotions with me.

So, what you can do is – you can also vent your feelings to your close ones (including me).

It’s also important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-care. Give yourself time and space to grieve the relationship, and focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Mate, healing from heartbreak takes time and effort. But by being patient and kind to yourself, you can start to move forward and find happiness again.

7. She’s a Part of Your Soul Family.

Have you ever heard about the soul family?

Nope? I’ll give you a basic idea.

soul family refers to a group of people who are connected on a deep, spiritual level. They support you and help you grow and evolve. You feel an instant bond with them, even if you don’t know them well yet.

These connections can span across lifetimes, and meeting someone from your soul family can feel like coming home.

So, if the girl is a part of your soul family, it may be why you can’t stop thinking about her. (To verify whether she’s your soul family, feel free to check out my detailed post on “soul family.”)

When someone from your soul family is in your life, you find it difficult to stop thinking about them because your soul deeply recognizes and resonates with them.

What to Do?

Just because someone is a part of your soul family, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re meant to be your romantic partner. Sometimes, soul family connections are platonic, and they are there to teach you something important about yourself.

If you’ve identified her as your soul family member, cherish your connection. This relationship is significant and can bring a positive change in your life!

Instead of obsessing about her, connect with her, share your experiences, and learn from each other.

8. She’s a Mystery to You.

Sometimes, we come across someone who just seems to have an aura of mystery around them. And surely, it’s natural to be drawn toward them!

Let me ask you. Does the girl seem like an enigma? Does she intrigue you with her mystery air and leave you wanting to know more?

If so, her mysteriousness may be why you can’t stop thinking about her.

Maybe you’ve only had a few conversations with her, but each time you feel like there’s something more to discover. Or maybe, she has a certain energy or vibe that draws you in and keeps you hooked. Whatever the reason, the allure of mystery can be a powerful force.

What to Do?

There’s a simple solution to your problem – “Try to know her on a deeper level.

Engage in meaningful conversations, ask questions, and take the time to really listen to what she has to say. You may find that the mystery surrounding her starts dissipating as you learn more about who she is.

Remember, some people are difficult but not impossible to decode. 

9. She’s Your Carbon Copy.

Does she get you the way no one else does? Do you have shared interests, passions, and a sense of humor?

When you meet someone like that, it’s easy to get excited and want to spend more time with them.

If you can’t stop thinking about her, it could be because she’s your carbon copy.

Finding someone who shares your interests and values can feel like you’ve finally met your soulmate. You might feel like you can be yourself around her, talk about anything, and you don’t have to hide any of your quirks or passions.

What to Do?

As you’re highly similar, you may fall into the trap that the girl is your dream partner – someone you were always been searching for. Further, you might feel she’s perfect and keep wondering about her perfection.

But here’s the thing: just because you have a lot in common with her doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the right match for you. While shared interests are vital, they’re not the only thing that makes a relationship work.

So instead of obsessing over your shared interests, focus on getting to know her as a person. Get curious about the parts of her that are different from you, and identify if you can stick together even through those differences.

Once you’ll get a wider picture of her, your thoughts will automatically start settling.

Remember, a strong relationship is built on mutual respect, support, and understanding, even if you’re not identical in every way.

10. You Fear Losing Her.

You fear losing her.

Let’s face it, losing someone we care about is excruciating. It can leave us feeling vulnerable, hurt, and confused. 

So if you can’t stop thinking about her, it could be because you’re afraid of losing her.

Maybe you’ve developed strong feelings for her, and the thought of her being with someone else or walking out of your life is too much to bear. Or maybe you’re worried that you’re not doing enough to keep her interested and constantly questioning whether she feels the same way about you.

Whatever the reason, it’s natural to feel anxious or worried when you care about someone and feel they might leave.

However, when things turn in the wrong direction, this fear can be all-consuming and cause you to obsess over every little thing she does or says. 

You might find yourself over-analyzing texts or conversations or trying to control the situation by constantly checking in with her or trying to make plans.

What to Do?

Here’s the thing: Constantly worrying about losing her won’t make your relationship stronger. In fact, it can actually strain your connection and make her feel like you’re insecure in your own feelings.

Instead, try to focus on enjoying your time together and building a relationship based on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Look, no one can predict the future, but you can control how you show up in the present.

So be honest with her about how you feel, and trust that if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Have faith in yourself and in the strength of your connection, mate!

What to Do When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her? (A BONUS TIP!)

I know. Constantly having someone’s thoughts can be highly frustrating, and you may find it impossible to focus elsewhere. Further, the situation worsens if you have a hectic work or study schedule.

But have you ever considered taking a break from everything else and confronting those thoughts head-on?

It may seem daunting at first, but it could be exactly what you need to gain clarity and peace of mind.

So, whenever you feel like you can’t stop thinking about the girl, just take a 10-15-minute break from every other activity and confront those thoughts. It could be journaling, meditating, or simply sitting quietly and reflecting on your emotions.

During this time, allow yourself to be fully present in the moment and acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and uncertain about the situation.

Give it a try, and let me know in the comments if this method worked for you.

End of the Line 

In conclusion, there are many reasons why you can’t stop thinking about her. Whether you’re experiencing love, infatuation, or there’s something else, it’s easy to get lost in a girl’s thoughts.

However, you must remember that obsession is unhealthy and can have negative consequences.

While it’s normal to think about someone different and special, it’s vital to maintain a balance and not let your thoughts consume you.

Take some time to focus on other areas of your life, such as hobbies or personal goals. Don’t let your thoughts about her control your life, but also don’t be afraid to explore your feelings and see where they may lead.

You got this, mate!   



Varun Pahwa

Varun Pahwa

Hi! I am Varun. I created Uprisehigh for you to share your life story & get answers to all your life problems. As your best friend, I'm committed to inspire you, simplify your life, and help you grow. Let's stick together on this beautiful life journey, mate!


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