10 Signs He Doesn’t Care About You or the Relationship!

Girl, I know that heavy feeling in your heart when something feels different, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. The way your guy used to brighten your days with his love… it all seems to be changing, doesn’t it?

How to Know If He Has Stopped Caring About You? 10 Clues

1. He is Not Excited About the Dates

You’re planning the most beautiful date, checking out the food options, planning what to wear, and doing everything to make it memorable for your guy. But Alas! his response to all your efforts is nothing but cold indifference.

Where you’re pouring your heart into creating special moments, he’s merely showing up because he has to. That sparkle in his eyes? Gone. He doesn’t seem excited when you suggest plans, doesn’t offer any ideas of his own, and treats your dates like just another task to check off his list.

When you text him the details, his responses are brief and emotionless – “ok” or “whatever works.” During the date, his mind seems elsewhere, and you can feel the emptiness in his half-hearted smiles.

2. Your Thoughts and Feelings Don’t Matter Anymore

No matter how much you try to explain what hurt you, how you want the best for the relationship, and how things can be beautiful, he turns a deaf ear to everything. 

He dismisses your thoughts, saying, “You’re overthinking” and tries to gaslight you into believing you’re wrong. The worst part? He barely utters a simple “sorry,” even when he knows it was his mistake.

Every conversation about your feelings turns into a defensive battle where you end up questioning yourself, wondering if maybe you are the problem after all.

3. He Doesn’t Surprise You Like the Old Times

There was a time when your guy was completely into you – spending quality time together, showing up at your doorstep unannounced, and bringing little surprises just to see that smile light up your face. But now? There’s nothing but empty routine.

Those random flowers, sweet notes, and unexpected visits have vanished. He doesn’t walk that extra mile anymore to put a smile on your face.

Now, you find yourself clinging to those memories, while the present feels increasingly hollow. The effort he once made to see you smile has become just another thing of the past.

4. He Teases You Disrespectfully in Public

A guy who cares about you would never put you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable in public. If he’s crossing that basic line of decency and feels perfectly fine teasing you in front of others, especially after you’ve told him it bothers you, that’s a wake-up call.

Let me share a quick story here from my past relationship. My ex-partner, Jack, and I were hanging out with our mutual friends, and he consistently made fun of one of my insecurities.

When I privately asked him to stop, he brushed it off with a “C’mon, babe! You’re just being overdramatic!” and kept going. I smiled through it all, believing maybe I was overreacting. Today, I realize it was a clear sign that he simply didn’t care about my feelings.

5. He Checks Out Other Girls

Your eyes get teary, and your heart feels heavy. You try to cry out loud, but you can’t. You want to deny what you just saw, the way his eyes lingered on another woman. You try to convince yourself that maybe he was just innocently appreciating someone’s beauty.

Come out of the illusion, my friend. Deep down you know that’s not true.

Let’s be honest here. Would you ever check out other guys knowing it would hurt your partner’s feelings? The answer is simple: No. Because when you truly care about someone, you would never want to make them feel inadequate or hurt.

If he’s shamelessly staring at other women and shows no concern for how it makes you feel, your feelings and this relationship are no longer his priority.

6. The Daily Check-ins Have Gone Silent

The sweetest and most romantic way to show care and affection to your partner is to ask them about their day, what they did, how they are feeling now, and so on.

Remember the early days? When he’d text you right in the morning, eager to know your plans? When he’d remember your important meetings and send encouraging messages? When he’d be the first to congratulate you on your achievements?

Now that thoughtful person seems to have vanished. Even if you said you had a special event today or an important exam, he never asks how it went for you. Your moments, big or small, have become unimportant in his life.

7. He Doesn’t Feel the Need to Reply to Your Messages

When a guy truly cares for his lady, his behavior shows it.

Can’t talk because of an important meeting? Would let her know. Missed her call? Would immediately call back. Couldn’t reply to her texts? Would send detailed responses. He actually understands that someone who loves you might be worrying, waiting, wondering.

But your guy? He keeps you on hold, takes hours to respond, and doesn’t seem to care that you might be anxious about his silence. His “Sorry, was busy” messages come without any real explanation or concern for your feelings.

8. Anger Has Replaced Affection

A man who truly cares for his woman would never let anger control his words.

But here you are, walking on eggshells, never knowing what might set him off next. The way he loses his temper over the smallest things, how he makes every conversation turn into an argument points to just one thing: something is seriously wrong.

How could someone who once spoke to you with such tenderness now find it so easy to raise his voice? Why does he count even the tiniest issues and form an argument around it? His constant yelling isn’t just a red flag for his indifference. It’s a sign that your relationship might be turning toxic.

9. The Romance Has Died a Slow Death

Remember those days when his flirting would make your cheeks turn pink? How his affectionate gaze would melt your heart instantly? The way he’d find something beautiful to say about you even on your worst days? Those sweet moments are gone lately. 

Now, the playful teasing has stopped. The compliments have dried up. Those intense stares that made your heart skip a beat? Gone.

Where he once noticed every little change in your appearance, every new dress, every different hairstyle, now he barely looks up from his phone. Those deep, meaningful conversations that used to last for hours have been replaced by short, functional chats.

10. You’ve Become His Last Priority

He keeps telling you how busy he is and keeps canceling your plans. On the other hand, he’s always making time for his friends and colleagues. When you gather the courage to question this painful pattern, he dismisses your thoughts as “dramatic” or “jealous.”

Every date gets postponed, every plan falls through, yet his social calendar with others never seems to suffer. Your “special evening” gets canceled because he’s “too tired,” but hours later, he’s out with his friends. When you need him, he’s “swamped with work,” but somehow finds time for impromptu plans with others.

Can It Be a Temporary Behavior Change?

Yes, my dear, his behavior change might be just temporary. These are the possible life situations that might be affecting him:

• Overwhelming work pressure or job changes^[1]
• Family problems or responsibilities
• Financial stress^[2]
• Mental and physical health issues
• Career setbacks or failures

The following table will help you know if his behavior change is temporary or something more concerning:

When He Still Cares But Is Struggling	When He’s Stopped Caring
Tells you he’s having a hard time	Says you’re “overthinking everything”
Still responds with warmth sometimes	Always cold and dismissive
Shares what’s troubling him	Keeps you completely in the dark
Tries to explain his behavior	Ignores your concerns entirely
Feels bad about being distant	Doesn’t care if you’re hurt
Makes time when you really need him	Always “busy”
Wants to work things out	Shows no interest in fixing things

What to Do?

If It’s Temporary

See, if this is just a temporary change in his behavior, there’s nothing much you need to do about it. These phases come and go on their own.

Just be supportive when he needs you and give him space when he seems overwhelmed. Trust the process and let time heal whatever he’s going through.

If He’s Really Stopped Caring

But if you’ve noticed those permanent signs I talked about, there’s nothing much you can do about it. You can’t force someone to care about you. The more you push him to show care and affection, the more he’ll either pull away or worse – pretend to care while getting even more distant.

So, instead of chasing his affection:

• Keep living your beautiful life
• Stay busy with things you love
• Focus on your own happiness
• Let him miss your presence
• Give yourself the love you’re seeking from him

Trust me, if he wants to come back around, he will. But don’t pause your life waiting for that day.

Wrapping Up

My dear, you’ve made it to the end of this post, and I know your heart might be feeling heavy right now. Maybe you recognized some signs that hit too close to home. Maybe you’re sitting there, tears in your eyes, finally accepting what you’ve been trying to deny for so long.

Take a deep breath. You’re stronger than you think. Sometimes love slips away, and no matter how tightly we try to hold on, we can’t force someone to care the way they used to. But that’s okay. Because this isn’t the end of your story, it’s just the end of a chapter.

I hope you get out of this situation soon. Until then, hold your head high and keep that beautiful heart open. The universe has the best plans for you. 💕

FAQs

References

1. Brough, P., Muller, W., & Westman, M. (2018). Work, stress, and relationships: The crossover process model. Australian Journal of Psychology, 70(4), 341–349. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajpy.12208
2. Peetz, J., Fisher-Skau, O., & Joel, S. (2024). How individuals perceive their partner’s relationship behaviors when worrying about finances. Journal of social and personal relationships, 41(6), 1577–1599. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075241227454