11 Subtle Signs He Feels Guilty for Hurting You

Updated On: September 3, 2023

Has your boyfriend hurt you? Want to know if he’s genuinely apologetic? These are 11 subtle signs he feels guilty for hurting you!


Signs he feels guilty for hurting you

The last thing you’ll ever want is getting hurt by your boyfriend. You can tolerate anything in life but not a wound from your loved one.

If something similar happens, you feel dejected and can’t help but imagine why he hurt you.

While you can’t make peace with the fact your boyfriend hasn’t behaved rightly, he might feel guilty for hurting you. He might not mean what he said or could have hurt you in the heat of the moment and now regrets his gesture.

How do you know from your boyfriend’s actions that he’s genuinely guilty? 

Worry not, my dear. I’ll share 11 signs he feels guilty for hurting you that will unveil your boyfriend’s state of mind.

Behind His Eyes: 11 Signs He Feels Guilty for Hurting You

He was wrong to hurt you, and now that he realizes his mistake, you can see the following actions from his end. Ready to know them? Perfect! 

Let’s start!

1. He Avoids You and Denies to Talk About the Problem.

You might wonder, “Is he avoiding me because he feels guilty?” as you can see him ignoring you in every possible way after he has hurt you. 

You can’t help but think, why is he doing that instead of trying to make things right?

So, here’s the thing: While few people can handle things positively, only some have the guts to face the problem or admit their mistakes and make the required changes. 

Well, everyone is built differently, isn’t it?

Hence, it doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend will try to make it up to you because he is guilty. Instead, he might refuse to talk about the problem and try to shift his focus to something else.

He understands it was wrong to hurt you but doesn’t know how to face it. He doesn’t know how to approach or make eye contact with you. Hence, he starts to avoid you.  

He might be trying to escape the situation by not speaking about it and making peace with whatever happened.

2. He Brings You Unexpected Gifts. 

A guy giving gift to his girlfriend.

When your boyfriend is guilty of hurting you, he will try numerous ways to win you back and ensure you’re no longer disappointed with him. 

One of the first things he will do if he’s guilty is to buy you unexpected gifts. He wants to ensure no matter what, you’re not angry with him anymore and will do anything to put a smile on your face. 

Most importantly, he will be thoughtful with his choices. He will buy you something that’s first on your favorite list. Suppose you’re into pink roses; he’ll get you a bouquet when you least expect it.  

Getting you things of your choice and showering you with unexpected gifts tells you he’s sorry for his behavior and wants to seek your apology. 

3. He Doesn’t Force You to Forgive Him.

A gentleman is the one who admits he made a mistake and apologizes for it but never puts pressure on his girl to accept the apology. In short, your boyfriend would never force you to forgive him instantly when he’s truly guilty of his mistake.

When he is genuinely sorry, he will leave it up to you to forgive him. He won’t say stuff like, “Forgive me, or I’ll take my life,” or, “If you don’t forgive me, it will mean I never mattered to you.” 

Rather than pressuring you to forgive him, he will patiently await your response. He will try to be a better version of himself and show that you matter in his life. You’ll see it in his actions. 

A guy who is not sorry for hurting you will drop a formal “sorry” and get ahead with his own ways. If he’s not doing so and trying to amend his ways, it’s a sign he feels guilty for hurting you. 

4. He Plans Surprise Dates. 

A girl and guy on a beautiful date.

Your boyfriend knows he wasn’t right to hurt you and admits it was his fault to have behaved that way. Now, to make it up, he might plan surprise dates for you.

I recollect one incident with my boyfriend, Ankit, where he hurt me out of a disagreement. Later, while trying to make up for it, he asked me out on a surprise date, only to melt my anger into ice.

So, here are a few questions for you. Did your guy ask you out on a sudden date? Did he make beautiful arrangements to make it a memorable one? 

If yes, it’s a clear sign he feels guilty for hurting you. 

5. He Doesn’t Want to Deviate Your Attention.

Many have this habit of deviating from the topic and leaving unresolved conflicts when they’re guilty of doing something wrong. They try to escape the situation with some temporary solution. 

However, If your boyfriend doesn’t try shifting your focus from what he did, you can say he’s feeling guilty. 

I can relate to this the case of my relationship with Ankit. 

If any of us (Ankit or I) end up hurting each other in a quarrel, we try to solve the issues after things get cool. Neither he nor I try to deviate the other’s attention to something else. 

We move to a different discussion only after things are entirely sorted. 

On the other hand, I know a few of my acquaintances who face this issue. Rather than being sorry and sorting things out initially, they divert it to a different direction, only to bury the wounds without healing them. That only invites long-term problems

So, my dear, if you see your boyfriend not escaping the problem or trying to divert the topic to something else, you can count it as a sign he feels guilty for hurting you. 

6. He Jokes Constantly to Make You Laugh.

Everyone has a different way to ask for an apology. They adopt different means to show their affection.

So, your boyfriend might not be into romantic dates or surprises but instead will tell you different jokes so that you can’t help but laugh. It’s his way of telling you he feels guilty for hurting you.

He will try to keep you smiling and ensure you get a good dose of laughter when he is guilty of hurting you. 

His gestures will implore you to give up your disappointment and get back with him in your usual ways. The efforts he puts in to make you laugh and forget all the anger reflects the fact that he was highly upset to hurt you.

7. He Agrees to Do Things He Doesn’t Like. 

One of the most powerful ways of apology is doing things off-limits to make the other person happy. Take my word; If your boyfriend does that for you, he is genuinely guilty. 

Let me give you an example. 

Thriller might be your favorite, but it’s his least favorite genre to watch movies. However, he might agree to watch a thriller with you to seek an apology. Or, he might not be into offline shopping at all, but to make you happy, he will agree to go for it. 

When he does off-limits things, that is the loudest form of apology. It shows how sincerely sorry he is for hurting you and is feeling guilty about it. 

Trust me, my dear, only some have the guts to go beyond their preferences and do things to make their partner happy. 

So, if he is doing that for you, it truly signifies he cares for you and is eager to sort out things with you. 

8. He Keeps Asking You if You’re Alright.

A guy holding his girlfriend's hand and asking her if she's fine.

The fact he has hurt you and made you sad haunts your boyfriend. 

Even after an apology, he can’t make peace with it and keeps asking you if you’re alright. He may be struggling inside to swallow that he was the one to hurt you. 

If he didn’t care for you and wasn’t sorry, he wouldn’t bother questioning you so many times, Right? 

This gesture suggests he is guilty that he upset you and wants to ensure everything is alright with you. He is concerned about your well-being and keeps enquiring to ensure things are okay with you. 

Think about it. Does your boyfriend keep asking you about your state of mind? 

If yes, it’s another sign he feels guilty for hurting you. 

9. He Keeps Looking for Excuses to Chat With You.

Your boyfriend might hesitate to ask if you have forgiven him and if things are settled. Hence, he might bring indirect ways to catch a conversation with you and try to gauge what’s inside your mind. 

For instance, he might call at an unusual time and ask what you are doing or text you something very random. While all these sudden gestures might surprise you, he is trying his best to win you over as he feels guilty for hurting you. 

I can relate to this. 

When one among us (Ankit or I) is hurt by the other, sometimes it feels a bit uneasy to ask anything directly (no matter how powerful the bond is). Therefore, we try to initiate sudden conversations and try to understand what’s on the other person’s mind. 

Yes, I know it might sound weird, but it happens. If you find your boyfriend doing the same with you, don’t be astonished, my dear. Instead, count it as his apology because he feels guilty for hurting you. 

10. He Says Sorry From the Depth of His Heart.

A guy saying sorry from depth of his heart.

“Sorry” has lost its gravity, given people use it every time, every moment. So, saying sorry isn’t enough unless someone means it. 

When your boyfriend is guilty of hurting you, he will say sorry. But how do you understand if he truly means it? 

  • He will make statements like, “I’m sorry you feel that way; it was my fault.”
  • He is constantly upset because you’re upset and wants to ensure everything returns to normal. 
  • He repeats you and mimics your gestures to make you smile. 
  • He promises he won’t repeat the same thing and sticks to it. 
  • He doesn’t try to manipulate you or blackmail you emotionally. Instead, he looks after your well-being and will make things right. 

If you see your boyfriend deeply regretful and repeating the above gestures to make it up to you and to make things better, you know he is feeling guilty for hurting you.

11. He is Extremely Honest with You.

Some men are such that they can’t carry a burden for too long in their hearts. They quickly realize they were wrong to hurt you and want to rid of disappointment. 

If he is guilty of hurting you, he will be brutally honest to make things right. He will seek an apology soon and explain in detail what went wrong, why he reacted that way, what upset him, and that he feels sorry to hurt you. 

When you find him doing this, know he can’t carry the guilt anymore and is trying to make things alright. It suggests he cannot handle this feeling emotionally and wants to get over the situation as soon as possible.

Though I haven’t ever faced this thing with Ankit, one of my friends, Neetu, often faces this with her partner. 

Neetu’s boyfriend is a good guy but often ends up hurting her. When he realizes it was his mistake, he starts being honest with her.

“Neetu, I didn’t like the fact you said those things to me and I couldn’t bear it. Out of anger, I overreacted.”

That’s how he explains his behavior. 

So, If you ever find your boyfriend giving you a long explanation about his bad behavior, it’s another sign he’s feeling guilty for hurting you. 

Wrapping Up 

That concludes our discussion on the 11 possible signs he feels guilty for hurting you. 

Everyone is built differently and has separate ways to seek an apology. 

If your boyfriend is really guilty for hurting you and apologizes genuinely, why not forgive him? 

Always remember dear, it takes just a second to break a relationship but tons of effort and investments to build one

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