10 Signs He’s Cheating on You Right Under Your Nose

Is your relationship keeping you up at night lately? That gut-wrenching feeling when something’s off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it?

I know that feeling. hen you’re lying awake at 2 AM, scrolling through your phone, looking for answers. When every late night at work, every password change, every defensive response makes your heart sink a little deeper.

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How to Know if He is Cheating? 10 Clues

1. He’s Never in the Mood to Get Physical With You

Have you recently noticed less action between the sheets? If your guy is suddenly not as eager for the intimate moments as usual, it’s a little alarm bell. 

Initially, he was super into all the crazy, fun, and exciting activities in bed. But now, all of a sudden, that eagerness to give you a good time is tapering off. 

Guess what? It might be happening because he’s getting the action from someone else. 

You now have to initiate deeds with him. And even when you do, he always hits you with the “Hey, I’ve had a long day, not tonight” or “Let’s do it tomorrow” – The same guy who was always crazy about having a good time with you!

Men do have days when they don’t feel like getting physical. But they can’t go long without doing it! So, there might be another woman involved here! 

2. He Has Adopted Strange Habits

Your man, who was once an open book, now has moments of whispered phone conversations and a general reluctance to discuss his day in detail. There are sudden changes in his schedule. Meetings run late, and there are unexpected trips to the grocery store at odd hours.

He’s also showing a sudden interest in privacy. He has started closing doors that were always left ajar. He’s now overly cautious about you catching a glimpse of his activities. 

My friend, these are not innocent quirks. These are some really suspicious habits. To keep entertaining the other lady, he may be exhibiting such peculiar habits.

3. He Has an Alternate Phone

Have you recently noticed a second mysterious phone in his hand? You found it hidden in your man’s work bag or somewhere in his wardrobe?

It is not like a backup phone for emergencies or a spare from work; it’s just this sleek, unfamiliar device. And you know this because you’ve never seen him use it.

So, why in the world would he need a second phone?!

Let me tell you. It’s a tool for maintaining a separate communication channel. It’s not the spare phone itself that’s the issue. It’s what he’s using it for. And he certainly doesn’t want you to know about it.

Maybe there’s a side of his life that he’s keeping from you. Or perhaps he’s using it to communicate with a ‘special’ someone he’s seeing.

4. You Notice Some Unusual Marks on His Body

Your guy returned from work today, and you noticed a mysterious mark on his neck. You asked him about it, and he dodged the question. Cool. No worries.

But now it has become a regular thing. You notice some bruises on his body most days of the week.

Those marks could be hickeys if they seem a bit off and weird. I mean, yeah, accidents happen, but how are such marks always there? 

It’s a blaring sign that he’s been having physical relations with someone else. He may give you all the bullshit in the world that he’s clumsy, or he keeps running into things. But tbh… we all know what hickeys look like! 

5. He’s Suddenly Into Physical Fitness

So, out of nowhere, your man has started this intense fitness regimen that includes hitting the gym regularly, joining fitness classes, and swapping pizza nights for healthy smoothies.

I mean, okay, who doesn’t want a partner committed to fitness? But maybe there may be something more to the story.

Have those gym sessions turned into longer hours away from home? If yes, then maybe it’s a cover for a hidden relation with someone else.

Girl, don’t be fooled by his sudden burst of ‘fitness’ energy. He could be channeling all this newfound energy and discipline into someone else. Maybe the other woman is a fitness freak, and to keep her impressed, he’s trying to level up his fitness game. It’s all possible.

6. He’s Always Physically Exhausted

Okay, so all of a sudden, your guy seems more tired than usual. You ask him to help you with the chores; he’s tired. You ask him for a nice, romantic dinner; he’s tired.

But weirdly, his routine seems the same. You don’t see him indulging in any other activity other than work. And it’s been going on for a while. So, why is he suddenly so worn out and tired?

Well, it could be because he spends all his time entertaining the other woman. Maybe he has to drive himself to see her after work. Or he has to put in some extra effort to sleep with her. With all the ‘extra work’ he’s been doing, he’s left with little to no energy when he comes back home. 

7. His Clothes Smell Differently

You know your man’s cologne very well. And this is not it. Okay, maybe he has a different choice these days. But why does it smell so feminine? My friend, trust your nose instincts; it’s most definitely the other woman on his clothes. 

If this change seems sudden and unexplained, it might be worth paying attention to. This may not be normal, and he’s trying to sneak this past you.

See, it’s okay if it happened once or twice; several explanations could exist. But, if you smell this familiar perfume on him regularly, something’s wrong.

8. He Stutters a Lot

Okay, you’ve noticed something very peculiar about your man recently. Your usually articulate man and a smooth talker now stutters even if you ask him simple questions.

It was subtle at first, just a hesitation here and there. But the more you pay attention, the more it seems his words stumble over themselves. The stuttering becomes pronounced when you ask him about recent trips with his ‘friends’ or any recent activity. 

Well, it’s more of an internal conflict. Maybe the guilt and shame are making an appearance through his speech. Perhaps his infidelity is consuming him, and he can’t help it. I mean, why else would he stutter if he has nothing to hide?

9. He Grooms Differently

You notice how people have their usual grooming routines, right? Well, if your guy starts switching things up suddenly, like trying new hairstyles, changing how he grooms, or experimenting with his look, it should catch your attention. 

Now, I’m not saying a new haircut automatically means he’s up to something, but when grooming habits shift unexpectedly, it can be a bit suspicious.

If he’s making these changes without an apparent reason, chances are, he’s doing this for someone else. Maybe he’s trying to impress another girl who prefers him in this new, cooler look.

10. His Sleep Schedule Has Changed

There was a time when you both used to fall asleep together, chatting about your day or just enjoying the quiet moments before drifting off. It was a comforting part of your routine.

But now things have taken a turn for the worse! You now notice your guy staying up later. And when you ask him what’s wrong, he gives vague explanations about work stress. Okay, that makes sense. 

But let me ask you: Have you ever heard him whispering at night? Or maybe leaving your room late at night? If yes, this could mean he might be talking to someone else during those late hours.

Should You Instantly Accuse Him of Infidelity If You Relate to these Signs?

I know you’re probably feeling all kinds of upset right now. But let me tell you something – don’t rush to accuse him just yet.

These signs we talked about? They’re just the starting point. They make you more suspicious, sure, but they’re not solid proof. You need real evidence before you confront him about cheating.

So what should you do? Keep your eyes open. Pay attention to his behavior. Look for more clues. But don’t jump to conclusions. You don’t want to mess up your relationship over a misunderstanding, right?

Take your time to gather more information. When you have concrete proof, then you can think about confronting him. Until then, stay alert but keep calm.

How to Talk About this Topic With Your Partner?

So, you suspect he’s cheating and now you’re wondering how to bring it up. I get it, it’s scary.

Firstly, take a deep breath. You don’t want to start this conversation all fired up. Choose a time when you’re both calm and have privacy.

When you talk to him, be direct but not accusatory. Say something like, “I’ve noticed some changes lately, and I’m feeling worried. Can we talk about it?” This opens the door without putting him on the defensive right away.

Listen to what he has to say. Really listen. Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions. Give him a chance to explain. Maybe there’s something else going on that you don’t know about.

Be ready for any reaction. He might get upset, defensive, or even angry. Stay calm. If things get too heated, it’s okay to take a break and come back to the conversation later.

What to Do If You Find Out He’s Actually Cheating?

So, your worst fears came true. He’s really cheating. Now what?

Listen. It’s okay to be upset. Take some time to just feel your feelings. Cry, scream into a pillow, or call your bestie. Whatever you need to do.

Now, if we’re talking about a boyfriend, here’s my take: Why stay with someone who doesn’t value you? You deserve so much better than a guy who’s sleeping around. I know people can change, but that rarely happens. I do believe once a cheater, always a cheater (plus, research backs this up).^[1] But yeah, it’s your call if you still want to give him another chance.

But if we’re talking about husband, it’s a bit more complicated and I don’t usually comment on it. Marriage is a deeper bond, and only you know if you can rebuild that trust. It’s totally up to you if you want to try and work things out.

I know making this decision is hard. Like, really hard. If you’re feeling stuck, talking to a relationship coach might help. They can give you some outside perspective. I’ve heard good things about “Relationship Hero” if you’re looking for someone to chat with. Here’s the link.

Whatever you decide, make sure it’s what YOU want. Don’t let anyone pressure you. Your happiness is what matters most here.

Conclusion

So, that’s it for today. 

I know it wasn’t very easy for you to read this blog. I’m sure you’re going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now. But I just wanted to help you out here.

Please take your time to process everything. I hope you’ll be able to cope with this situation.

All the best!

FAQs

References

1. Knopp, K., Scott, S., Ritchie, L., Rhoades, G. K., Markman, H. J., & Stanley, S. M. (2017). Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships. Archives of sexual behavior, 46(8), 2301–2311. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-1018-1
2. Fife, S. T., Gossner, J. D., Theobald, A., Allen, E., Rivero, A., & Koehl, H. (2023). Couple healing from infidelity: A grounded theory study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(12), 3882-3905. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231177874