7 Stages of a Breakup for the Dumper (+Myths-Busted!)

Breaking up is messy, isn’t it? But here’s the kicker – it’s not just tough for the person being dumped. The dumper goes through their own emotional rollercoaster too!

The dumpee might wonder:
“Are they really enjoying their newfound freedom?”
“Do they ever feel guilty about how things ended?”
“Will the loneliness eventually kick in?”

Buckle up, because I’m about to tell you what really goes on in a dumper’s mind after they call it quits.

From feeling like they’ve escaped chaos to potentially regretting their decision, I’ll talk about the 7 stages every dumper experiences post-breakup.

Let’s jump into it.

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What are the phases a dumper experiences post-breakup?

1. The Beginning of the End Stage.

The is the first stage when the dumper hits the brakes on the relationship.

Okay, so here’s what happens: The dumper suddenly realizes they don’t want to be with the dumpee anymore, and the relationship is just not working for them.

Maybe the dumper has fallen out of love or is simply unhappy in the relationship. Perhaps they want to chase their dreams without being tied to a person.

Whatever the reason, the dumper decides to end the relationship and move forward.

Let me tell you this: The decision to end things usually comes from a mix of self-reflection, changing circumstances, and the realization that things are not going as they should.

While it may come out of the blue for the dumpee, the dumper was probably wrestling with these thoughts for a while. They were likely at war with themselves, and when they reached this conclusion, the breakup journey officially began.

It’s tough for the dumpee, but understanding where it started can sometimes make it more digestible.

2. The Freedom Stage.

The dumper may now move on to the next phase, which is enjoying their newfound freedom! They’re finally free, and it’s like a big exhalation moment for them.

The dumpee may be restless and uncomfortable, reeling from recent events. But the dumper? They’re embracing this freedom like a kid in a candy store!

The dumper might go out and do things they couldn’t do when they were in the relationship. Or they may just relish that they no longer have to answer to anyone.

Maybe they’re not happy with you anymore and wanted to get rid of you for a long time. So, when they finally decided to break up, it was like getting rid of heavy luggage. 

3. The Relief Stage.

If the couple was constantly butting heads and arguing, it could have felt like a never-ending game of tug-of-war to the dumper. So, when they decided to end things, it’s as if they said, “Okay, game over!”

No more emotional rollercoaster, no more trying to decipher if today will be a drama episode or a rom-com. For the dumper, it’s peace after what might have felt like a storm of disagreements.

They think they’ve escaped the chaos for a bit, and the things that were wearing them down no longer exist. Hence, during this stage, the dumper might think they made the right decision by ending the relationship.

They’re relieved they don’t have to deal with the dumpee’s drama; How the dumpee got upset when the dumper took two days to reply to texts or why the dumpee wanted them to spend more time together.

Hence, they feel a sense of relief.

4. The Rebuilding Stage.

Here comes the next stage: the dumper is on a mission to rebuild themselves. They might start waking up in the early hours, try out new workout routines, or maybe just flip their whole schedule upside down.

Why? Because they now want to take charge of their own life.

Maybe they had a specific routine when they were in the relationship, and now, they want to toss it away and do things on their terms. Or they want to break free from their old habits tied to the relationship.

During this stage, the dumper will try to rediscover their passions and do things that light up their soul. They’re now on a mission to find the new normal.

And here’s the sad part for the dumpee – the dumper might start to date again because they’re no longer committed to anyone. They’re free to explore what’s out there and see if there’s anyone better suited for them.

5. The Loner Stage.

Okay, so the dumper made the call to end things, probably feeling like they just slammed the door on a chapter of their life. But guess what? Reality starts knocking, and it’s not always a party!

Initially, they might’ve been all “freedom and independence” vibes, but as the dust settles, the loneliness starts to creep in. It’s like the quiet after a storm – they suddenly notice the emptiness.

Further, if the dumpee manages to maintain no-contact until this stage, the dumper might start missing them again.

At this stage, the dumper usually sits with their feelings and emotions. They start to realize the impact of the breakup on the dumpee. It wasn’t just about them; the dumpee was there too.

This fresh awareness might bring a wave of empathy in the dumper. They might start to understand the confusion and the heartache that the breakup caused the dumpee. They finally get a glimpse of what the dumpee is going through.

The dumper may or may not have moved on, but they feel a bit accountable for the emotional rollercoaster they put the dumpee through.

7. The Regret Stage.

Okay, so I know you might wonder, “When does the breakup hit the dumper?”

Well, this is the stage when they realize they messed up!

The dumper might start feeling extremely regretful, thinking about the good times, the shared jokes, or even just the comfort of having someone there. Watching the dumpee move on might bring up all sorts of intense emotions in them.

Suddenly, the dumper wonders if they made the right choice, imagining the dumpee having a great time without them. They might ponder if they gave up too soon or if they’re missing out on something amazing.

One minute, they’re living their best life; the next, they’re going on a nostalgia trip. They may even want to reconcile. Now, the realization has finally struck them that they have lost someone precious.

The dumper regrets causing pain, feels sorry for ending things badly, and wants the dumpee back in their life. They may also feel jealous imagining the dumpee with someone else. It is the final stage, where the dumper is confused, chaotic, and unhappy with how things are.

There’s a solid chance that the dumper might come back and apologize during this stage. They could even ask the dumpee to consider taking them back.

See how the tables have turned!

Common Myths About Dumpers

It’s time to bust some popular beliefs about dumpers. You might be surprised to learn what’s true and what’s not!

Myth #1: The Dumper Never Looks Back

Wrong! As we saw in the stages above, dumpers often think about their ex and the relationship. Some even feel regret later on. Just because they ended things doesn’t mean they completely forget about their ex.

Myth #2: They’re Already Dating Someone Else

Not always true! While some dumpers might jump into dating right away, most take time to process their feelings. Just because they ended the relationship doesn’t mean they’re ready for a new one.

Myth #3: They Never Loved Their Ex

This is far from true. Most dumpers did care deeply about their partner at some point. Feelings can change over time, but that doesn’t erase the love that was once there. Breaking up doesn’t mean the whole relationship was fake.

Myth #4: Dumpers Are Always Happy With Their Decision

Nope! As we saw in the regret stage, many dumpers question their choice. They might seem okay on the outside, but inside, they could be dealing with doubt and confusion.

Myth #5: They Don’t Feel Any Pain

This is totally wrong. Dumpers feel pain too – it’s just different from what the dumpee experiences. They might feel guilty, sad, or confused about their decision. Breaking up isn’t easy for either person.

Myth #6: They’ll Never Come Back

Some dumpers do come back, especially during the regret stage. Whether it’s for reconciliation or closure, many reach out to their ex eventually.

Myth #7: They’re Cold and Heartless

Most dumpers struggle with their decision before ending things. They might act distant or cold to cope with their own feelings, but that doesn’t make them heartless.

Signs the Dumper May Want to Reconnect

When a dumper starts thinking about getting back together, they often show it through their actions. Here are the signs to watch for:

• The dumper begins watching all the dumpee’s social media stories.
• The dumper sends random texts to restart conversations.
• The dumper’s friends start talking to the dumpee more often.
• The dumper brings up happy moments from the past relationship.
• The dumper asks mutual friends about the dumpee’s life.
• The dumper sends late-night messages after drinking.
• The dumper mentions specific things they miss about the relationship.
• The dumper holds onto the dumpee’s belongings without returning them.
• The dumper gets upset seeing the dumpee with other people.
• The dumper suggests meeting up to talk things through.
• The dumper openly says they miss having the dumpee around.

When Does the Dumper Really Move On?

So, when does the dumper actually move on? I mean, not just pretend to move on, but really get over things.

Here’s the thing: Moving on isn’t about time. It’s about what happens in that time. The dumper needs to go through all those stages we talked about earlier. Some might take weeks, others might need months or even years!

The dumper truly moves on when they stop playing the “what if” game. When they don’t feel the need to check their ex’s social media or ask friends about them. When new people aren’t being compared to their ex anymore.

Want to know the biggest sign? It’s when the dumper can think about their ex without feeling guilty or sad. When they can wish them well and actually mean it. When they’re not posting happy photos just to prove a point. (In short, when they’re emotionally detached)

But here’s something surprising – moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. The dumper might still remember the good times, but these memories don’t hurt anymore. They’re just part of the past.

Wrapping Up

Woah, what a ride through the dumper’s mind, huh? From feeling free as a bird to potentially regretting the whole thing, it’s one crazy emotional journey.

From freedom to potential regret, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions. Remember, everyone processes differently, but understanding these stages can offer valuable insight.

Whether you’re helping a broken heart or trying to understand your ex, remember: emotions are messy, and healing takes time.

Keep your head up – you never know what the next chapter holds!

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