10 Simplest Ways To Practice Self Love

Loving is the hardest and the most courageous thing you can ever do.

Since childhood, I have seen the most cliched and patriarchal household.

In my eyes, the woman was always the giver. No matter how you feel, you keep all of it aside, shut your emotions out, and just focus on your family, the people around you, or the tasks at hand.

Not yourself, never yourself.

It is obvious that as I grew older, this ideology carried forward with me.
I always kept others above me. My emotions always took a back seat, whether in relationships or with friends.

Until one day.
I fell in love, madly. 
And got my heart broken badly.

When I kept chasing a guy, I realized this was not what I deserved.
When did I get comfortable treating myself like trash but everyone else around me like elites? 

That was my full stop.
I had to give myself the same love I gave others so easily. 

Like I said, loving is the most courageous thing to do. Why not do it for yourself before you do it for anyone else?

But How to Love Yourself the Right Way?

1. Believe in Yourself.

See, you need to understand your full capabilities. You are a mass of potential, brimming with abilities you have yet to fully realize.

It’s easy to underestimate yourself but trust me, your true capabilities go far beyond what you think.

Often, we don’t recognize the talents we have. Maybe it’s because we’re too focused on our shortcomings or because we compare ourselves to others.

But you have skills and strengths that, once discovered, will make you feel invincible, and you’ll achieve every extraordinary thing in this world.

Grow through challenges. You see, challenges are a part of life. Instead of fearing them, see them as chances to develop resilience and strength. Have faith that you can achieve them. Each challenge you overcome adds to your growth and enhances your potential.

You give yourself tasks that seem unachievable and see yourself achieve them.

This will boost your confidence exponentially. And each day, you’ll keep becoming a better person and a better version of yourself. 

2. Say No To Comparisons. 

I learned this the hard way.

You see, I have always been competitive. I used to see how well my colleagues or people around me were doing, and I cursed myself out for it.

This not only added pressure, but subconsciously, I was telling myself I was not good at all.

See, my point is that there will always be someone prettier than you, smarter than you, more skilled than you, someone who earns more, and so on.

But, every time you need to remind yourself that you’re unique, you know? Learn to appreciate people without comparing. Learn to uplift yourself.

People might be better than you, and there’s no harm in accepting that. Keep upskilling yourself to build more confidence. Keep reminding yourself of all the things that make you you. 

Comparison always brings more harm than good. Wake up daily and remind yourself that you’re proud to be you.

3. Treat Yourself Better. 

Before you look for love outside, look for it within.

I read this quote while writing this article (I am a human; I get distracted, too 🙂 ), and it went like this:

“Don’t forget your first love: yourself.”

Come to think of it, we do that so often, don’t we? 

We always forget our first love, us.

See, you found a romantic partner, and that is good; lucky you, happy me.

But often, we expect others to treat us a certain way when we don’t treat ourselves that way.
Take yourself out on dates, have a wine and chill night with only yourself, paint, take yourself to dance classes, get yourself flowers, and treat yourself like a Queen.

This will not only make you feel so much better but will also make you realize your worth.

Once you start dating yourself, you’ll never settle for less or bare minimum treatment from anyone else.

4. Embrace Your Flaws.

Let me tell you something, you’re stronger than you think. 

You need to cut yourself some slack the same way you’ve cut slack to the people who didn’t even deserve it. You’re a human; it is natural to have flaws, right? You can only strive to be better.

Know your flaws, acknowledge them, and try to work on them.

We all have gone through enough in life, and let me be bluntly honest with you, from one friend to another: misery never stops. It’s part and parcel of life.

The moment you think, “Oh, now things will be better,” is the moment you’ll be facing new challenges. Some problems will be caused by you, and some will be caused by others. So, rather than being hard on yourself, just admit you’re flawed, too.

Don’t escape by blaming others; learn to accept, for only then will you be able to grow as a human.

Acceptance is the first step toward growth.

5. Don’t Wait For Compliments.

You know who knows your beauty the best? YOU!

You know all your wounds and scars. You know about your chipped nails, the stories behind your scars, the strength you’ve shown, how you stood like a rock and never gave up, even when times were tough. You literally know everything about yourself.

You have no secrets from you.

When you know your story, why don’t you praise yourself enough?

See, it is simple.

You simply stand in front of the mirror, look at your reflection, and smile.

Be your own favorite in real life.

Tell yourself you’re amazing, how good you’re looking, or what insane talent you possess. Tell it all to yourself. 

From looks to brains, compliment yourself because you truly deserve it.

6. Honor Your Needs.

Learn to differentiate between what you want because you actually want it and not because someone else has practically forced you into wanting it.

See, being adjusting is nice.

Being a people pleaser isn’t.

Tell me, how can you fall in love with someone who is out there listening to everyone about even the smallest plans or life goals? You won’t choose such a partner, right?

THEN WHY ARE YOU BECOMING THAT YOURSELF?

You need to speak up about what you want.
You need to honor your own needs.
You need to tell what’s wrong for you, even if it’s right for others.

Because if you keep going with what others say, you aren’t respecting yourself enough.

7. Celebrate the Little Wins.

We all want to achieve something big in life.

That’s the dream since childhood, isn’t it?

But in that process, we often forget to count the tiny steps we take every day to reach where we want to reach.

It isn’t necessary that you find yourself worthy of celebrations only when something big or significant happens.

Celebrate your small wins.

You didn’t feel like it, but you got out of bed? Celebrate.
You didn’t feel like it, yet you sent out that mail? Celebrate.
You didn’t feel like it, yet you went out for fresh air? Celebrate.

Celebrate yourself every day when you’re trying to be a better person or a better version of yourself.

Trust me, life will become so much more beautiful.

8. Sit With Your Feelings.

When I broke up, my first reaction was denial.

The second was rage.

Third was brushing it all under the carpet.

Now see, oftentimes, when guests visit our place, there are two ways to deal with it:

Way no. 1 is to pick up all the cluttered stuff and dump it somewhere else, where it’s not visible to the guests.
Way no.2 is to declutter everything and organize it properly, the way it is supposed to be.

Now, way no.1 will take less time, but it won’t last long. Someday or the other, you will have to face it.

Whereas way no.2 will take more time but you’ll eventually feel so much better about it.

That’s precisely with our feelings, too.

Brushing things under the carpet is never a good option. Because sooner or later, things will start to spill off.

In the healing process, sitting with yourself and your feelings is vital.

Let them all out. Be sad, cry, break down, and have yourself go through all the stages of grief and all the stages of love.

Because only once you do that will you resolve it for the better.

Let it out at once rather than letting it out later on people you’d not want to deliberately harm. Sitting with your feelings is one of the most courageous and best ways to love yourself.

9. Don’t Take Yourself For Granted.

Listen to me. You need to be your everything.

I have harmed myself a lot because I never respected myself and started taking myself for granted. You know when you’re in a relationship and always available for the other person? More often than not, they start taking you for granted, right?

I think the same logic applies to us as well.

We are with ourselves every living second of our lives. Taking ourselves for granted just becomes natural, right?

WRONG.

It should never be an option.

You need to treat yourself as a priority, my friend. Here’s the thing: how you treat yourself is how others will treat you, too. Everything starts at home, remember? 

Learn to push people with negative energy away.

Learn to say NO.

This one is really important.

You see, you need to maintain boundaries in order to protect and respect yourself.

Say no to things that don’t fall in your line of acceptance.
Say no to people who you know are only there to cause problems or are selfish.
Say no to being treated like an option.

Just learn to say no.

You’re not going to let anyone dull your sparkle; please remember that always.

10. Keep The Judgements For The World.

We have all heard the phrase, “In the end, people will judge you anyway, so you might as well do what you want,” right?

Now, when we know that there will always be people out there who will judge us for every move we make, why do we go through the pain of judging ourselves?

I read this line somewhere, and it changed the way I looked at things; the line is:
“If we have it in our hearts to forgive people and give them second chances, why can we not do the same for ourselves?”

Why is it easier to expect others to treat us right when we can treat ourselves right all along?

Humans make mistakes. We are all humans. Let’s allow ourselves to make mistakes once or twice without judging ourselves. 

Let every mistake be a lesson and not a judgment.

Go easy on yourself; the world is sitting out there to be difficult anyway.

Conclusion

So, after my awful breakup and after getting my heart broken, I learned to keep myself first.

That, to me, is the only most sane thing to do now. Because I realized that loving myself is the single most important thing I can do.

Are you going to follow the same path? Are you ready to love yourself too?

PS: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND BEFORE ANYONE ELSE.